I feel like my husband's life hasn't changed... and won't change until baby comes

Hi Ladies. This is my first time on the site and first time on a chat like this but I'm finding myself feeling alone because I have no one to relate to. I am 11 weeks pregnant (still very early) and I am the first of my friends to be pregnant... So I need advice on something that has happened.

Last weekend my husband and I went to a comedy show and afterwards he wanted to stay later with his friends to have a couple drinks. I decided to go home and let him do his thing (trying to be supportive to his lifestyle). The next day we had a birthday brunch that I knew was going to be boozy (these people like to drink) and then I had to leave around 4pm for another birthday dinner (which was also just a bunch of extremely boozy girls) and my husband wasn't coming, so he decided to stay with our friends from brunch. I hadn't heard from him all evening until I was driving home from dinner, exhausted and tired from being around drunk people all day. All I wanted was to go home and have him there with me. When I called him around midnight and asked him to come home, he said "no babe.. I am having way too much fun with our friends and I'm not ready to come home. Why don't you come join us at the club?".......... The LAST THING I wanted to do was go to a club with more drunk people, and loud music." So I just went home and went to bed.

I was really hurt by the fact that he was with these people drinking for 12 hours and couldn't seem to pull himself away from the scene and prioritize my needs. Isn't 12 hours of drinking enough? I found out yesterday that they didn't just go to the club, they went to the strippers which is SO UNLIKE HIM. He was just following them and going with their flow. So I get it, but that hurt even more.

I had a chat with him and let him know that when I go out with him (which isn't very often) that I need his support and I need him to keep the drinking to a minimum so I'm not the only one there on a different level. I don't think that's much to ask but maybe I'm wrong? Because he got so defensive, telling me that I am making this a "no fun zone" for him, and just because I can't drink, then he's not allowed to drink either. (I didn't say he's not allowed to drink, but can't he just have casual drinks and not get wasted? How old are you... we signed up for this the moment we decided to be parents...)

I need advice. Am I totally over reacting?


  • Hey, I didn’t want to read and run. I’m sure you’re probably feeling very emotional with all the new hormones running wild around your body. If it’s not something he’s doing all the time then personally I would let it slide and take advantage of a bit of alone time to relax and put your feet up. It’s important to keep  lines of communication open with each other about how you’re feeling and hopefully he will understand that things may change a little when baby arrives xx

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