Going on 10 months and losing hope.

Hi ladies,
I posted in the TTC forum as well, new to the forum. 
Going on 10 months today and losing hope. Never had kids and trying for my first, had a chemical at 3 months and nothing after, got preliminary tests done and all looks good, under 35 yo. Would love to hear from anyone who got BFP after 10 months for some hope. Feel like I’ll never see two strong lines.
Thank you. 


  • Hello, 

    I completely feel your pain, the wait feels never ending sometimes. We started trying in July 2018 when we got married, and had my first chemical in Jan 2019. I then had a second one in May 2019. During 2019 I had two lots of blood tests done which all came back fine. By the way I turned 36 in Oct. 
    I had been taking pregnacare for about a year, tried pre seed for a few months and was doing bbt for a few months. On our third month of bbt we fell and so far so good. 

    So from us starting trying it took 17 months for us to fall without having a chemical. All I can see if try to stay positive, try not to think if it as another month added on. Are you doing bbt? X
  • Thank you so much for the quick response. I’m not sure how to properly do bbt :( also, I’m regular at 28 days and did opk which showed me ovulating at day 13, would bbt do more for me? 
  • I would definitely say try it. I hadn't heard of it until I started using this forum. Basically you need a thermometer that records to 2 decimal places, and you take your temperature as soon as you wake in the morning. You need to do it as soon as you wake so you don't get up first. It works well if you can get the time roughly the same everyday, as in within half an hour of the same time  @Maddoda is the person to guide on it, she has helped so many. 
    If you then download an app called fertility friend you can input your temperatures and it will give you a guide to when you ovulated. 

    Hope this all make sense, please feel free to message me x
  • Thank you. Can you explain on how you think it helped you because it sounds like you were trying for a while so you probably already knew when you were ovulating right? So tell me about when you finally saw that positive test and the feelings you had, did you have cramps or bleeding at all that month?
  • Well when I look back I must have wasted so many months because I used to go by my Fitbit app, but that was quite inaccurate. I didn't really know the signs to look for, like type of discharge around ovulation, so I never knew when the nest days to try were. As much as I love my husband we are both teachers so were regularly too tired to try as much as I'm sure some people do! So we clearly never timed it well just by chance. 

    Having said that, it took until the third month of us knowing when the right time was because even if you do all the things right luck still has a lot to do with it! But if you're doing all of those things to help then you'd be well on the way :)

    When I got the first positive back in Jan last year I was so pleased!! But it didn't last, the line didn't progress and a couple of days later I bled with clots and knew it was over. So when I got another positive in the May I couldn't believe it, but I was very wary! This time we got to the point where it was showing positive on digitals, but it didn't last either. I remember thinking one day how my boobs weren't sore anymore, and the following day I bled with clots again. It was so heartbreaking as I assumed it would happen everytime. 

    In December last year I had pretty much written the month off as trying, even though in the month my husband did the semen analysis that came back fine. But with Christmas and weddings I knew I would have some drinks and we wouldn't have lots of time. I honestly think that lack of pressure helped as at the beginning of Jan I got another positive test. I didn't get too excited and spent a fortune retesting over about a week until I felt happy that the line was progressing. This time we went through digitals showing 1-2, 2-3 and 3+ weeks but at the back of my mind I felt like it wasn't going to last. We reached milestones like the booking app, the scan and then yesterday I met the midwife again and heard the heartbeat. Because I know now that a positive test doesn't necessarily mean you will have a baby I have become more relaxed with it and literally just take one day at a time. It's a shame that we are on lockdown and I won't be in work for ages as my routine isn't how I had planned but it doesn't matter, all that matters is I look after the little one. 

    With cramps, I had quite a few in the beginning few weeks, it is normal. I didn't have any bleeding but then lots of people do so that can be normal too. I really hope you get to this point and beyond! I really would suggest trying bbt.

    Sorry for the essay!!!!!!! 
  • I do appreciate the essay, it really helps to hear from someone who has been there. I am so happy for you and I hope I can give you good news about me soon :) 
  • @futuremama I have every hope that you will have that good news soon :) 
    Feel free to stay in touch, can send you pics of what the bbt chart looks like if that would help :)
  • futuremamafuturemama Regular
    edited Mar 27, 2020 12:47PM
    Yes that would be great, here is my email for this site: [email protected]
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