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going out of my mind - advice wanted

mrs_daviesmrs_davies
in Preschoolers
We have a 3 and half yr old and a 14 week old, since i've been on maternity 4 months ago now the 3 yr old is so so naughy. we have tried everything possible i think and nothing seems to faze him. the smacking has know begun but only to adults so far.

we try and talk to him and explain things to him, he answers us and says will listen, be good etc from now but doesnt seem to know i think, because 5 mins later hes naughty again.

we spend time with him and take him out without the baby so he knows hes not left out. we explain alot to him about his baby brother and what needs doing and involve him in things. he cannot leave his baby brother alone, so we explain if he keeps upsetting and wakin the baby up we cannot spend time with you because keep making baby cry.



my husband and i always stick together on things, but totally going out of our minds now and cannot think what else to do. due to his behaviour aswel i think hes being little naughty in school (teachers have not said yet tho).



any suggestions, sorry im going on and on, but im starting to back off and the feeling isnt good and tend to get upset myself.

Replies

  • pinkchickpinkchick
    Hi,



    I have the same problem and nothing works for long. The most effective is to take away something he values and explain why and what specific targets need to be met before he gets it back. Sometimes we take away a toy or bedtime story depending how naughty the behaviour is.



    This seems to be working for now and our 3 and a half year old is behaving well.



    I am careful to always remind her that I love her but am not very happy with her for whatever and if she hits no one will want to play with her.



    Good luck.

    Xx
  • mrs_daviesmrs_davies
    thank u, yea we went to take something away toys, his tv progamme he likes etc etc. still not working as yet. its gonna come to it that all his toys will b gone c if that wrks, then if good has 1 back at a time.
  • booglys_mumbooglys_mum
    I make myself Remember children have to be taught, by us, how to behave. As they get older they try more out so seems like being naughtier but it is really just where they got cleverer, more interested in things. So all this behaviour is completely normal. I have a 3 and half year old who seems to have for more naughty. I realised it was all negative, he has 3 mins time out after 2 verbal warnings or straight in time out if hitting or damaging something on purpose. We also put a toy on fridge if extreme behaviour. We always explain the reason for the punishment. As it was increasing in frequency I started 2 reward charts one for any time good listening and one for bath and teeth-worst time if day! I think this has really helped. It also makes me not as cross all the time as i am saying positive things! There is something called love bombing you could look into if you feel your relationship with child is negative, supposed to work really well. Sounds like you doing all you can to smooth relationship with new baby. If you can spend a period of time just the family. Hope some of that may be useful, even if just to know others going through same!
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