feeling upset with nursery ....shy little boy
Hi everyone im hoping some of you can relate or help? My little boy is 3...can be very shy around ppl but also very chatty etc. He has friends outside of playschool that he plays lovely with. When hes been to playschool I always ask his key worker if hes been ok...and she says yes fine...chatty...playing etc..or every now and then he might have a quiet day. When I picked him up last week she called me over and said my son wont play with anyone....walks away from children. But otherwuse happy playing. So I asked if it was just that day and she said no hes like it all the time. Im so upset...im being told different things....one day im being told he plays fine...then ibwas told he never does. She asked what hes like outside and I said hes fine...plays lovely with other kids....in actual fact hes the leader...bossy!! What am I supposed to do.....I know hes shy.....how do I get him out of his shell at playschool if this is the case? I felt like I was trying to prove hes not like it all the time....feeling down :-(
Replies
Hi jodie2130 - and welcome to MadeForMums!
Your little boy sounds lovely - and very normal. My boys were shy, too, at that age - although very noisy and sociable once they got to know people better.
How long has your boy been at the playschool?
Hi helen thanks for your reply! Hes been going now for 7 months x
Aw, bless him.
What ages are the other children? Are they mostly older or younger than him? And how long have they been going to the playgroup?
It's hard not to worry about them, isn't it?
I think it's part of a mum's job description!
But if you think he's happy at the playgroup and likes going, that's all that matters. The rest of it - the playing with others and making friends - will come in time, I'm sure...
Thankyou, yed he does like going and is always exited. Hopfully hel grow out of it xx
My son never went to daycare so we were initially also very afraid of what he'd be like towards other kids once he got to school. The first few months (His first days were in April this year) he was very shy and also didn't play with any other children.
There is nothing wrong with a child being shy and most of them grow out of it. What might help (what we did as well) was talk to him. Talk about school, what he did that day. Also look at the class picture and ask him the names of the other kids..
I have a shy little boy too. Have no idea where it's come from as he's been socialised from an early age at baby groups (makes him sound like a puppy!) and we've always been very supportive and encouraging. But he's painfully shy around new people. He's been in nursery for a year now (he's 3.5) and in August he moved rooms to the preschool room. Back in the toddler room he's known as 'Disco Dan' because he loves dancing and would ask them to put their cds on. But when he moved rooms I got lots of feedback that he's "quiet" and "shy" and "keeps himself to himself". Thankfully he's settled in and made more friends now and he's definitely part of the "boy gang" in that room. Slightly unfortunately he's buddied up with an outgoing little boy who is actually being quite a distraction at times so now we have that to contend with instead!
After all that progress, we took him on a Santa Express train last weekend and he wouldn't even look at any of the staff (despite being dressed as elves). It got to the point where he was actually burying his face in my leg if anyone spoke to him. Thankfully our weeks of "coaching" about asking Santa for a gift paid off and he did have the courage to ask for a bike!
But like the previous posters have said I'm hoping it's something that'll improve with age. Plus, I feel like I don't want to worry too much yet as he'll be going to "big school" in September so will have a complete change of scenery and friends. If there are problems there, I think then is the time to start asking questions etc.
The only thing of concern in your post I'd say is the behaviour of your nursery. It's not on if they're telling you different things on different days. Maybe you could have an informal chat with the manager about it?
I actually quite like my daughter being shy! She would never go off with a stranger at least! Some of her friends would wander off with anyone. She did grow out of it at the childminders and play school and primary school once she learnt she was somewhere safe with people she could trust.
Hi! I have a 3 & half yr old & he is extremely shy also, but he seems to be coming out of it. We put him in lots of activities, and didn't baby him. He totally came out of his shell in soccer, but is still shy at preschool at programs and such, but has come a long way. No worries, your little guy will come around.