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I really need some help ☹️ Almost 4 year old daughter is becoming SO difficult

I have a daughter lily who is 3 years 10 months old and we’ve always had such a great relationship but the last few months have been really getting to me she’s now become so fussy with her clothes to the point we’ll argue about what she’s wearing for about half an hour every morning it’s gotten so bad her summer wardrobe is just non existent because I don’t want to waste money on things I know she won’t wear (everything I buy has always been comfortable so it’s not that) she’ll pick little things out, she put a skirt on the other day that she chose to wear and put it on to then say she doesn’t want to wear it because it has pockets and I know what they wear is not a massive deal and I know she’s more than likely doing it to have some control over her life but as soon as i give in it gets worse and onto other things like wearing socks with sandals and wearing welly boots when it’s boiling outside, she’s started wetting herself throughout the day again (not everyday maybe twice a week) which I can handle at the moment as we moved about three Weeks ago so that could explain that but it’s then back to her wardrobe to find something else to wear 😳 and today she wet herself right next to the toilet and had this little smirk on her face that made me think she had done it on purpose along with all this it’s the attitude, shouting and feet stomping which used to be few and far between but has become more and more over the last few months, I’m also 36 weeks pregnant and absolutely exhausted so im wondering how much is down to me losing my rag too quickly or if she is actually getting worse? I keep asking oh to take her out more and more because I just need time to myself and I know once my son arrives im going to regret it as the time we’ll have just the two of us will be practically non existent then and I know I’ll miss it I love her more than life itself and I’d give my right arm to see her smile so if anyone has any tips or tricks up there sleeve I would really appreciate it I am so desperate to have our closeness back 💗

Replies

  • Oh honey, she is testing her boundaries. She's seeng how far she can push and manipulate you (they learn so young!) and i had/have the same with my almost 5 year old. 

    At about 3years old, my lg went through a phase of refusing to wear anything but skirts. so, i realised if skirts are what she wanted, fine. But, then like your daughter, it became a whole outfit selection, and it would become a mare... so, here's what I learned to do. Give her options - you select a couple of outfits, and allow her to choose - so although you are making the decision about what she can wear, she feels as though she is, by being able to choose. It's not fool proof, but sometimes it works! And hide the welly boots. Out of sight, out of mind. 

    I also have started saying 'we can do this the easy way, or the hard way - you pick. Hard way involves mummy getting cross and probably screaming'. This sometimes works too. At the moment, just getting my lg to brush her teeth of a morning is SUCH a mission. 

    I'm finding right now, my lg just doesn't listen at all, and i'm getting so irate with her, so can totally sympathise. Oh, and also, i've read about kids weeing as a control thing - try not to react - simply get her changed and carry on. 

    Hope this helps, and good luck with the baby! I hear boys are much easier... 

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