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alone and expecting baby no2. so depressed :(

I'm 32 weeks tomorrow with my second baby, my partner and i broke up when i was five months pregnant. i can barely cope at all. i have a lovely little girl with him already, Bella, who is fourteen months this week so still very little. we were together five years, and as i'm twenty, hes the only partner i've had. we had only just moved in together when i found out i was pregnant again. it was difficult but he said he would stand by me even though he didnt want another baby... then he started coming home late and sleeping on the sofa. i had morning sickness at the time and bella was poorly, i felt so hurt that he didnt seem to care. then i discovered that he was interested in a girl at work, at which point i moved to my mums with bella.

for weeks he was promising that nothing at all was happening with him and this girl, but the night before my birthday in august (great timing from him) he said he has been sleeping with her. i feel like my world has fallen apart all i want is to be supported by him, like he said he would. i feel miserable everyday thinking of him with someone else, i know it sounds overdramatic but i feel cheated that i'm not enjoying my pregnancy. he still acts as if we might have a chance of getting back together one minute, and then calls me and shouts abuse at me the next. i also have no financial support from him. if anyone else has been through anything similar please tell me how to get through this i just cant see how i can be happy again.

Replies

  • hi hun, i am sorry to hear about your partner leaving you, i know you feel scared hun but you can do this, i am sure your family will support you, how is your relationship with oh family this is his child and he still has a responsibility to his children, he should pay maintenance if not you can get child benefit and child tax credit, working tax if you are working or job seekers, these benefits are for people like you who need help, don't feel bad to accept help with money, ask your midwife to put you in touch with home start, women who are mums, they come around for a chat and support. please let us know how thongs go xx
  • I don't know what to say to you. It sounds like he is the one in control of the situation and after what has happened, you should be the one calling the shots!!

    I can't imagine how you're feeling, i know I'd be devastated. There used to be a guy at my work who used to brag about cheating on his pregnant girlfriend and it used to make me sick!

    Nothing anyone says is going to make you feel any better. Only you can do that. The easiest way to start getting over a break up is to have absolutely no contact, but that's probably impossible for you as you have children together. You need to stop waiting on him and hanging on what he says, and start taking a bit of control back. He's treating you like a doormat and you need to put a stop to it. He's not even pretending to act like he's sorry. I've been through a terrible break up before and was heart broken, but we didn't have children together so it was easier to stop contact.

    This has made me so angry!!!!! I really feel for you, please don't get back with him, or at least play hard to get if you are considering it otherwise he won't respect you. Please update us. Good luck honey xxx
  • Thank you, i am going to be moving house next week, and even though its stressful i'm hoping it will help, and maybe be a bit of a fresh start, although i will still see my ex around as i'm not moving very far. Its really nice to have some support i'm glad i joined up, sometimes talking to friends and family i dont want to make them worry so i act like everythings ok, but i am very close to them and wouldnt be without them.

    I will sort out getting child maintenance, i expect i should have a fair amount considering he owns a pub. It infuriates me thinking of him spending all his money on himself while i bring up Bella, and also not bonding with her like he should have done. Its not fair on her at all. I hope i will be stronger the next time he calls i know i cant let him treat me like this. he keeps accusing me of being with other people, which clearly i am not!
  • It sounds like you're keeping strong, good on you hunni!! If you need to get it off your chest just email me xx GOOD LUCK!
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