I really need help.........

mum2babyhope · Dec 12, 2007 7:19AM

during my 1st preg i got postnatal depression but no1 did anythign bout it i toild health visitors even my mum did i was living wit her from 2months b4 i gave birth up 2 a month after she was born the health visitors just tought my mum was inrerfering but she was'nt.I moved in with my boyfriend n his dad but my mum did'nt want me 2 cos i was so depressed, but i wanted to try and cope with the baby on my own i got so down and felt i could'nt cope and i did a terrible thing and hurt my baby i told the health visitor where i was living at the time and she told social services

now ive lost my lil gurl cos of what happend to me at that time i do get to see her everyday cos my mum now has solecare.i did do a parenting assesment couple months ago but social services just left it far to late for me to show i could cope with her and now im pregnant again it has'nt been in my favour cos i decided to keep baby they think im still a risk to the child so im really scared bout what there gun decide to do this time.Im hoping there not goin to take child away i dont think i could cope with loosing two babies.Im now 20wks+5 days they wnt tell me until im 30wks preg im gettin alot of help atm im goin to parenting classes which is app in my favour im getting a physciactric nurse to give me support now and after the birth so im hoping theyll let me keep the baby as im reaaaaaaaalllllllllyyy trying to proove that what happend to my daughter Hope wont happen to this new baby.i hope all u guys on here will give me support and if u got ne advice id really like to hear it i dnt want you guys thinking im a baby beater cos im sooo not i love my baby n regret what happend to her.also postnatal is higher 2nd time round so ive heard so im hoping sum1 will help me thru it this time

indieems78 · Dec 4, 2007 3:11PM

Hi, I'm a social worker so might be able to answer this from the other side if you like! You need to have a lot of evidence to be able to take a baby away from a mother and I would say that the best things you can do is to communicate and cooperate with social services as much as possible, get any support that you can and make sure that you keep appointments with psych nurse etc. All these things will go in your favour. Obviously I cannot speak for your local social services but I would say that if you can evidence that you are using support and cooperating with people and that you will continue to receive support/help once baby is born then this will make it much harder for social work to argue that the baby should be removed. Of course, I do not know all of the details of what happened last time or how severely you harmed your daughter as these things will have a bearing on assessment. Also, if your partner and family are viewed as helpful and supportive or not.

Hope that has helped. Like I said, main thing is to show that you accept what happened last time was wrong and that things will be different this time.

KThom122 · Dec 4, 2007 3:49PM

I really feel for you tho I'm not really sure what to say. Have you talked to your mw or doc?? Maybe they could tell you whether you can keep this baby. Perhaps even try going to a solicitor???

Maybe you could get like a joint order with your mum for your daughter Hope then gradually she may be allowed to live with you permanently. Keep fighting for her- but at the same time do co-operate with social services coz digging your heels in won't do you any favours.

Maybe CAB could advise you.

All the best whatever happens

Take care xx

lauriecajigas · Dec 7, 2007 2:18AM

I am a psych nurse, pnd is hard to deal with and I've seen it many times. If you attend all your support groups and prove to social services that you are capable of raising your child on your own, I think they will have less reason to favor against u. On the other hand, pnd does not strike until after pregnancy. If you do end up suffering from pnd again, would you be able to seek support from the community and resources now that they know it was pnd before? I think it is important for you to do this as it would show that you are being a responsible parent. I really hope things work out for you! Good luck and be strong!!

mumto225 · Dec 8, 2007 5:19AM

aww hun i feel so sorry for you that things got soo bad last time but the most important thing that you are doing all you can now! i really hope that things work out for you and we are always here for you to chat about things and help in any way that we can, *big hug*

xx.

mum2babyhope · Dec 11, 2007 11:24AM

id just like to say thankyou for your advice im seein the physciactric nurse tomorrow hopefully he/she will b able to help me thru it all im seein a solicitor atm ive been involved with s.serv for a year now its soo hard knowin what to do or say to any1 professional atm im doin all the best i can to proove things will b diff this time im gettin the help which i did'nt do last time thats gotta b a gd thing right.it feels such a long time until im 30wks but wen it cums im gun be soo scared my solicitor should be there to speak up for me and 1 of the ladies from the parenting group will b there too.fingers x

Bex · Dec 12, 2007 7:19AM

I got a bit of pnd myself,but it just made me very tearful and lonely,so its not d same as yours. But I can say that it really affects you to the point of behaving very different to how you would do normally and alot alot alot of people cant fully understand it until it happens to them. At least baby hope is with your mum not a stranger so thats one positive thing! How is your relationship with your mum at d mo?...............EMcG seems to know exactly whats shes on about so I would go with her advice. At the end of the day they are just looking out for the baby,there not trying to be mean so keep up with all your appts and this time make sure you take all the help on hand. I wish you all the best luck and I hope everything works out well for you and your babies. X

I really need help.........

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