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Think my hubby maybe cheating?

Hi Everyone,

I usually post in baby but thought here was more appropriate for this, I was having a great day until i went on to my computer history & found all sorts off stuff, this may end up being a long post so sorry in advance,

Me & Hubby will of been toghether 5years in march, he has nearly cheated (arranged to meet up with my best friend for sex but i foud out and stopped before anything happened) before so i am sensitive to it probably over sensitive, anyway it turned out that she had offered it on a plate & he didnt refuse we broke up but have got back together after time apart and decided to let it go which i have. Anyway i seem to have like a sixth sense when he's up to something i don't know where it comes from but i can tell, we've had a lot of problems recently as he has been watching lots of porn and pleasing himeslf rather than be with me (but that was another post) he has now started going out to the pub which he never does leaving me with Evie, he's very moody and expects me to do everything if i try to talk to him i'm in the wrong bla bla and i'm making things into things there not.

Well i was just messing on the computer history when i found websites saying meet up for sex in your area etc etc, and tmobile website where hes got a new phone from but i've never seen it but says he def has it on there. He has always know that i won't put up with him cheating on me and i would of though what he went through to get me back last time he would of learnt his lesson. If he has cheated on me that'll be it and he knows it, we both wanted a baby but he takes no responsibility for her. Please give me ideas i know this post is all over the place but i'm so mad i can't think clearly. xxxxxx

P.s i have no real friends to ask as they all fell out with me when i decided to take him back, i feel like such a fool now

Replies

  • Hello im sorry what ur doin is hard. Dont u think intending to and aranging to cheat on u is just the same? If u hadnt caught him he wood have done it so i think hes not the on for u im sorry i no its hard but u will find sum one better and wish you got out sooner. Relationships should b based on trust and after his first incident i dont think u trust him. Best wishes x x xxx
  • Honey, I can't say for definite obviously, but in my opinion and if it were me, I personally wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

    I think the information you have turned up is almost proof, why else would you have a 'secret' phone - he'll deny it obviously. Why else would you type in 'places to meet for sex'? Research?

    I'm really sorry, and it may not be the opinion you were hoping for, but if it were me, I would be more than suspiscious. Our sixth sense is there for a reason and I think we're very rarely proved wrong.

    Good luck honey, your friends should be there no matter what you choose to do, it's your life not there's and I hope you get some support.

    Big hugs.xx
  • I would happily pack his bags and throw him out..........scumbag.
    I got treated like shit by ex too the father of my daughter and daughter to be and when i look back i can see what a fool i've been, you will do them if you let this one ride again.

    I agree i think intending on cheating is just as bad as cheating.

    Leopards cant change there spots, i hope you make the right choice for you and your little girl......he doesnt deserve either of you

    Sarah
    39wks
    xxxxxxxx
  • I would happily pack his bags and throw him out..........scumbag.
    I got treated like shit by ex too the father of my daughter and daughter to be and when i look back i can see what a fool i've been, you will do the sam if you let this one ride again.

    I agree i think intending on cheating is just as bad as cheating.

    Leopards cant change there spots, i hope you make the right choice for you and your little girl......he doesnt deserve either of you

    Sarah
    39wks
    xxxxxxxx
  • Hi hun, Sending you big hugs. i know how you feel, i could go on about why he might be, or how he will justify the phone etc, but you know all that deep down. I have been using a life coach recently and am now training to be one myself, but the most valuable piece of advice it has taught me is one question which i now use for everything - "Does it make ME happy?" - sounds a bit new age i know, but its not its just true. You can word it however you like - does he make me happy? Does the situation make me happy? If things stay as they are am i happy? The key is what you do about the answer, you deserve for you and your lo to be happy, which ever way that may be.

    Sorry girls if it sounds a bit weird!!

    Lisa xx
  • I have to say the same as the other ladies hun, I wouldnt trust him. Also, the fact he wont even discuss it with you when you bring things up is not how a relationship should be. You don't soundslike you trust him yourself, and I think deep down you know there must be something going on. Sorry you're in such an awful situation, big hugs. What will you do? xxx
  • Hi.
    Sometimes its not knowing what you should do,its ACTUALLY doing it!that I think is the hardest part,and too many times we put it off or make excuses..but I agree with Lisabump,you really do have to do whats right for you,this isnt the first time you have had reason too,and if you ignore or forgive this time around,there is a good possibility he will do it again!!!!!!!
    Sit him down and tell him what you found,but you know as well as we all do he will try and deney it,be strong!
    I cant tell you what to do,but you and your lo deserve a man who cares and takes the time to talk any problems through with you!you dont deserve a cheat and a lier! x
  • Hello friend

    I am so sorry you're going through this. Probably the last thing you need with a lo to take care of and the previous betrayal.

    I feel I can relate a little. Hubby and I had a really rough time last summer. I booted him out too! However since then we have come on leaps and bounds. I believe everyone deserves a 2nd chance...

    As your oh has already had that 2nd chance I would refer to Lisas message. Concentrate on YOU and what will make YOU happy.

    'Relate' offer relationship councelling if this is a route you would like to take? Your GP will have plenty of information on this. It sounds to me like you both have things that need to be brought out in the open, may do the world of good.

    The girls are right, they're are plenty of great men out there if you decide to go it alone, but I recommend some soul searching first. You will know in your heart if its the right time to leave him.

    It is very easy for friends/family to recommend that you leave him. and I would have probably said something similar a few years ago... however life isn't black and white and if decisions were that simple we probably wouldn't need a 'support' forum.

    Thinking of you xx

    [Modified by: RachelandBabygirl on January 29, 2009 12:27 AM]

  • Thanks for all your kind words and support, i'm going out with him for a meal tonight (first since Evie was born) and going to try to get to the bottom of whats going on xxx
  • I haven't replied before as I don't think I can offer any advice other than what has already been said, so I just want to say Good Luck for tonight, I hope you get the answers you want and if not I hope you are strong enough to make the right decision for you. Life is too short to be unhappy.

    Best wishes xxx
  • Hiya,
    To behonest the advice the other girls have given is what I would also say.
    I just want to send you lot's of love and I hope tonight you get the answers.
    Take care babe xxx
  • Hope your meal went well hun and you got some answers. xxx
  • how did it go hun?

    I hope u got some answers! Im really sorry u have to go through this. Men can be such arseholes!

    Big hugs to u hun xx
  • how did it go hun?

    I hope u got some answers! Im really sorry u have to go through this. Men can be such arseholes!

    Big hugs to u hun xx
  • Well i had a nice night out but have no idea whats going on, i asked him about it when we got back and he said he was on a porn website and it was a pop up? do i believe him or not? he is going away with work next week for at least a week and i've told him we both have to think seriously about whats going on and how are behaviour affects Evie. I'm so confussed as last night once we were alone and not with Evie he was so attentive and couldnt do enough for me, could he be jealous of our daughter? xxxx
  • He could be feeling put out yes. With the porn thing, if you click on the history you'd know if it was a pop up wouldnt you? There must be some way to find out? What did he say about the phone? xxx
  • it may be that he resents not having you all to himself. if thats the case he needs to realise that thats all part of becoming a parent.

    did u gat any answers for the phone?

    Big hugs to u hun hope ur ok. xx xx

  • He said its for work, & work have paid for it for when he goes on the oil rigs as his one now isnt strong enough, i've seen the bill and it has been aid for on works credit card & he cant use that without their permission, i'm so confussed but he agrees we need time apart to think and thats happening next week when he goes away with work for a couple of weeks xxx
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