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Surname- angry at myself
me and oh had decided on a double barrel name as it was really important to me that my son had my name as well as his fathers, this was all fine until the day we went to ''register the birth/name him'' that morning oh started having a right go at me saying i was selfish and he wanted our boy to only have his surname same as his other two (from a previous relationship) 
he just went on and on saying how out of order i was and it was never what he wanted and i had no right to expect him to go along with my surname being in there. by the time we got to the registary office i was in such a state i was even crying in the naming office, anyway i let him get his way and im really regreting it. I feel like such a push over being bullied into something i really didnt want to do.
anyway sorry for the winge probably sounds really silly, just had to get it off my chest.
he just went on and on saying how out of order i was and it was never what he wanted and i had no right to expect him to go along with my surname being in there. by the time we got to the registary office i was in such a state i was even crying in the naming office, anyway i let him get his way and im really regreting it. I feel like such a push over being bullied into something i really didnt want to do. anyway sorry for the winge probably sounds really silly, just had to get it off my chest.
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Why should it matter to him if your lo has a double barrel surname?
Me and my oh are not married and we chose to let my lo have his surname but we are planning to marry in 2010 so we all have the same surname.
I'm not sure if there is anything you can do or not but if there is I would do it as you don't want to be regretting it forever more. At the end of the day it should be a joint decision and not just your oh bullying you into it!
I had a similar problem with my oh. He wanted only his surname but we arent married and i wanted my lo to have my name aswell, cant really explain why but it just felt the fairest and right way to do it. When we went to the registry office i asked if we would be able to change the name from double baralled to just his if we were to get married and she said that we could and would just have a charge of ??3.50 for doing so, so that settled that one!! if he wants his name he'll have to marry me
have to admit me and my partner had great problems with that too, something about 'male pride'. i gave in in the end,wish i hadnt,
Me and my oh are having this argument at the moment. Even though we are engaged, we dont intend to get married for a long time. I want to keep my name ( I am the only one left to carry on my family name) and I dont see why I should have a different name to my child. Therefore we have agreed on double barrell name. The argument is whose name should be last. I think that my name should be last as it sounds better in that order, but he thinks that if we have it that way then people will drop his name and just use my surmame. I've told him that we will make sure that this wont happen but he is not happy and neither of us is backing down. I know that if I give him then his family will drop my name when calling the baby and will only use his name when telling people what the baby is called, where as my family wont. The thing that annoys me is that he has siblings to continue his family name where as I dont.
I dont know if this helps but my birthcertificate surname and the name that my mother used for me from birth are different, she never changed it by deed poll and I kept it till my mum remarried after my dad died and then I double barrelled my stepdads name onto it and now Im married and have my husbands surname.
It hasnt caused me any problems Ive even had bank accounts in the surname my mother used for me without any problems, I think that aslong as its used continuasly(sp) then its fine ,ie not one surname for Dr and another for school etc.
Just an idea if you really arent happy, you can even add your surname now in everything you register your little one for ie Dr, passport, hope this helps.
Vikki
i'm not sure how you can go abouts doing it but i do remember a school friend of mine had her surname changed to her step-dad's when her mum got married so it is possible to do
There are only girls in our family, so there is nobody to carry on our family, but it doesn't bother me. I think we will get married some time, but only after we had all our children and perhaps not too soon after that either. I think it is nice for the child to have the fathers surname, so the father feels more involved and it is easier for the father to take the child somewhere (school, doctors, etc.).
But I do realise that there are some problems with that for the mother or even worse, if you split up with your partner. I have a friend, who that happened to and now she is left with a child without a father, but with his surname. She has changed the surname, but it will be on the birth certificate forever and he has got no interest in the child anymore.
But I obviously hope and believe that most people that have children together think that they will stay together forever, so it shouldn't really matter who's name the baby has got.
[Modified by: lana27 on May 25, 2008 01:17 PM]
I then met a new partner and when I fell pregnant I didn't know what to do with regards my two kids having a different name (and me another) so I told my partner when I was pregnant that until we were married my dd would have my surname.
When my dd was born he proposed and we set a dat so I was happy enough to go ahead and register his name (the things a man will do to get his own way lol). We did get married and I also changed my sons name so we are all the same.
If I was to advise anyone in this position I would say that unless you are pretty sure you are going to marry the person I wouldn't give the child his name
we were together but not married and had not been getting on great...he wanted his surname but i said i wanted mine for the fact that it can be changed to his if we had more children or we got married.
i explained to him that with the way things were between us i didn't want her to have his surname, then we split up and i have children with someone else...then my children would all have different surnames.
her surname could be changed to his whenever but could never be changed back if things didn't work out.
he wasn't happy about it but i'm so glad i stood my ground as we split up a few months ago. i would've hated my child having a different surname to me forever and now if i have anymore children i am happier that they will all have the same surname.
he thinks i was being selfish...maybe i was....but i don't regret it one bit.
xxx