advice really needed :\(

my oh and i have been having alot of problems and i have got to the end of my tether, i dont know if anyone remembers him posting this about me on here after i posted a thread saying how i couldnt cope with his behaviour anymore:


allow me to retract my previous post, and give you the actually detailed account of what happens in my sad-day-to-day life..

I dont have a job, and havent had one for a good year and a half now, my boyfriend, probably soon not to be, has payed for everything since i met him. Me leaving my job and ending up homeless while pregnant, made our relationship even better (?).

So then we have a baby, (unwanted?) and obvously, me being a girl, like all you, thinking that it will sort out our relationship, and everybody will live happy ever after. Not Quite.

As stated above, my boyfriend works, although he enjoys his job, its still work. He still needs to get up in the morning, he still has to work all day, and he still has to earn money to keep me in fags and food. Because afterall, im work shy, and havent really worked a day in my life, so he has to work extra hard to pay for everything, ill just dos off the council. image

It may not be entirly fair that he comes home and expects a full nights sleep, but it may also not be entirly fair that i expect everything on demand and nothing in return. I look after my baby all day, while my boyfriend works. Then when he comes home at night, i offload all the house work onto him and then the baby, so i can sit on my arse and watch Jeramy Kyle and fantasies about a life i never had.

This, my fellow BabyExpert members, is why my boyfriend sucks, because he works hard all day, to look after me and his baby, and when he comes home, he kicks off about me offloading everything onto him.

anyway as you can see he is a cocky bast***. today he called me a "f*cking arsehole" because i didnt want to take my lo to my dads (i was going there to get a break) and he was sleeping at the time and i said theres no point waking him up. my oh went to the back door (its below lo's room) opened it and slammed it so hard, thus waking lo up. fired him in his car seat and told me to get lost. he has also been telling me for the past week that if i dont have a job by the end of this week he is going to leave with lo as im an unfit mother because i dont work. not only that *sorry if this is tmi* for the past month he has been constantly harassing me for sex, groping me 24/7, putting his hands down my trousers or top *even when im busy lifting lo out of his cot* i gave in and had sex with him 2 nights ago, just so i could get some peace at night *he gropes and moans at me to give him a handjob every night and if i dont he tells me im a rubbish girlfriend* once he had finished i burst into tears, i feel so dirty and used. i told him today that i want him out and he said he wouldnt go without lo and that i should be the one moving out because lo cant live with me bcus i dont have a job and couldnt afford to keep the house. how do i get him to leave? i cant take living with him anymore. i have no where else to go and i cant chuck him out because he would smash the windows to get back in, hes a d***

please help x

Posts

  • hiya love - could spend the night posting back and forth but you really sound like you need to talk, my msn is [email protected] add me and we'll have a chat see what we can come up with together! To me this is a form of domestic Violence regardless if he is or isint hitting you! it's abuse of power.. speak to you soon hopefully! x
  • Change the locks? I'm sorry but i really feel for your predicament, its made me so angry reading your post. You dont need him there are plenty of women that cope better without a man. Also, have you shown him the cost of child care? Does he realise how expensive it is- ??41 per day for my LO to go into nursery if i return to work. As for the sex, well if you werent so tired running round after some arrogant, useless bloke then maybe you would have the energy to think about sex, aside from no energy can he not see that a personality transplant might help him to get a bit of night time action? Why on earth would any lady want to sleep with someone that is treating them like that? it certainly would not turn me on. What a cheek. As someone thats worked a million different jobs from a 14yrs old i can honestly say the most challenging job i've ever done is looking after my baby. You sound like many other women, there is nothing wrong with you, just him. My OH is lucky at times if he gets sex at all when he's acting like that, but he's realised that if he helps out a little bit after work and at weekends then he gets a hell of a lot further then if he's nasty, we've had similar problems at times as i 'sit on my arse all day while he works hard' but not to the extent of yours i have to say. I think it is common for men to have that misconception of our new jobs, at least they get breaks from their jobs-we're on call 24/7.
    And how does he expect he will look after the baby without you while he's at work? cant take LO with him, which means someone will have to look after LO? Dont let him wear you down, i know how hard it can be but stay strong, you have support here. Do you have family you can stay with who can support you and LO perhaps if you cant get him out? I hope you can do something, he doesnt deserve to be with anyone, and if he treats you like that how can he look after a child? he cant. Stay strong and get someone to be there and support you if you do get him out, it will help to have someone physically there for you, whether its family/friend/ refuge. Good luck xxx
  • Change the locks? I'm sorry but i really feel for your predicament, its made me so angry reading your post. You dont need him there are plenty of women that cope better without a man. Also, have you shown him the cost of child care? Does he realise how expensive it is- ??41 per day for my LO to go into nursery if i return to work. As for the sex, well if you werent so tired running round after some arrogant, useless bloke then maybe you would have the energy to think about sex, aside from no energy can he not see that a personality transplant might help him to get a bit of night time action? Why on earth would any lady want to sleep with someone that is treating them like that? it certainly would not turn me on. What a cheek. As someone thats worked a million different jobs from a 14yrs old i can honestly say the most challenging job i've ever done is looking after my baby. You sound like many other women, there is nothing wrong with you, just him. My OH is lucky at times if he gets sex at all when he's acting like that, but he's realised that if he helps out a little bit after work and at weekends then he gets a hell of a lot further then if he's nasty, we've had similar problems at times as i 'sit on my arse all day while he works hard' but not to the extent of yours i have to say. I think it is common for men to have that misconception of our new jobs, at least they get breaks from their jobs-we're on call 24/7.
    And how does he expect he will look after the baby without you while he's at work? cant take LO with him, which means someone will have to look after LO? Dont let him wear you down, i know how hard it can be but stay strong, you have support here. Do you have family you can stay with who can support you and LO perhaps if you cant get him out? I hope you can do something, he doesnt deserve to be with anyone, and if he treats you like that how can he look after a child? he cant. Stay strong and get someone to be there and support you if you do get him out, it will help to have someone physically there for you, whether its family/friend/ refuge. Good luck xxx
  • how does he expect you to look after the baby if you're at work?
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