whats the best way to introduce my 3 yr old to my new partne

Replies

• karen130770

  Jan 9, 2009 5:43AM

  Aw, I know you feel bad for your partner, but in your daughter's eyes, she doesn't understand what's going on.
  
  To her, her daddy has left the house, and a random stranger has turned up and she's now expected to share her mummy, the one stable thing in her life.
  
  I've been in this situation, and to be honest with you I never introduced men to my girls unless we'd been together for ages and knew it was a long term thing. If you feel it is, then perhaps limit the time your new partner is there when your daughter is awake for now and concentrate on spending lots of time with her and reassuring her that you're not going anywhere and that her dad wil always be part of her life (if that's how it is!)
  
  Whilst not letting her rule the roost as it were, I think maybe just slow things down a bit and go a bit more at her pace. Maybe meet up with your partner to go to the park or somewhere so she gets to see him in 'fun' environments, not just at home where in her mind, he's just taking your time away from her.
  
  Good luck hon - as I said, been there and it's a rocky road sometimes, but it is doable!xx

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• Beebee

  Jan 9, 2009 7:34AM

  Sorry this is going to sound quite harsh but your sympathies are misplaced.
  
  6 months is no way long enough for a child of that age to process daddy being gone & a new man being in the house & tbh you cant have been with him that long to have a good idea if he is worth keeping aorund or if he will stick around either so why risk upseting her further.
  
  IMO have him come round once she is in bed & be gone when she wakes up then arrange to have fun outings with him so that she can get used to him in a neutral environment. Once she is more comfortable in his company then he can start spending more time at home (if the relationship progresses).
  
  Thats just my feeling on it. Not intended to offend of judge.
  
  [Modified by: Beebee on January 09, 2009 11:36 AM]
  
  

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• tracey_1981

  Jan 9, 2009 6:34PM

  hi
  
  I was with my partner six months when i found out i was carrying his daughter, my sons dad and me had been split up for over a year so slightly different.
  
  But i got robbie to spend time with him, told him he was a special man who made mummy happy robbie was 4 at the time and seemed to accept this, they went to the park, did lots of fun things and robbie saw how i smiled and was laughing gain.
  
  Due my pregnancy towards the end he moved in with us and took over daddy duties and my son knows he has another daddy but my partner is the one who he calls daddy and knows takes care of him.
  
  Obviously this is different for everyone, but as said try to take things a little slower for her and then introduce him in fun places and let her see you laugh and that, but also spend time alone as me and my partner didnt have much of this and its hard to now, get to know him first and then gently introduce him but try not to let it be in the family home too much xx
  
  take care and good luck xx
  Tracey

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