Forum home Family life & relationships Relationships

I want another, but OH doesn't

Hi all

I was just wondering if anyone else has been/is in the same situation. I have a gorgeous little boy who is just over 2. I love him to bits and would love for him to have a brother or sister as I am one of 2. Hubby isn't keen and I am finding it really hard, it is almost becoming an obsession for me (although I don't mention it that often to OH as I just get upset) :cry:

I just don't know what to do really. I earn the money in our family and have just got promoted so will be on about the same as when we had DS, so I don't think it is a finance thing.

Am I being selfish?

Sorry for the rant xx

Replies

  • Hi Hun,

    I dont think you are being selfish at all, its nice to have siblings and as you say you are going to be financially stable etc.

    What are his reasons?

  • Oh, you're not alone and you are NOT selfish, you are thinking of giving your little boy a brother or sister, and that's great.

    My daughter was born after IVF with donor eggs, and we have 2 embryos in storage and my husband won't let me go and get them; I so want our daughter to have a sibling and he just says that something might go wrong, she's such a handful (only to him) and we should be grateful that we have her and not push our luck, etc etc etc

    But I want her to have a companion through life, especially as we're older parents, and his refusal is driving me mad as time is running out.

  • Thank you all for your replies. Librarylil I really feel for you, it must be really hard knowing your embryos are there just sitting there. I really hope you manage to convince your OH before time runs out.

    It is sooooo frustrating, I am hoping time will help, but I worry that the easier it gets with DS as he gets older the more used he will get to the easier baby-free life.

    Take care all xx
  • Hi, I had exactly the same problem with my ex. (That's not the reason we split.) He was adamant he wouldn't have another. I was pretty sure I didn't want another either as I am one of 5 (2 step-siblings who I've grown up closely with; 1 full sibling & 1 half all who I grew up with) and hated it. BUT considering I was only 19 when Lo was born and my ex was 22, I wanted to keep my options open that MAYBE we might have another but he was so closed-minded about it (about that and everything else but I wont go on! lol!) . Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can do at all except hope he comes round. It might be worth talking to him more - if he's worth it, he'll listen to your feelings and you can have a discussion about the pros and cons....But with my ex he just would never listen to my opinion. Maybe he will set a date a few years in the future when he feels he may be ready. I would urge you not to convince him to TTC soon, rather to wait until he's ready and really will welcome a new baby just as much as you will rather than being nagged into it isywim?! Good luck x
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions