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Worried that partner is being turned off by my pregnancy :-(

Hi everyone,

I'm 26 weeks pregnant and my other half has told me that he uncomfortable having sex because of the baby being there... which I can kind of understand. He knows he can't hurt the baby but just finds it too weird.
He has said that he loves me and still finds me attractive and he's still very affectionate and always telling me how much he loves me. I'm just really scared now that this is just the start of a downhill spiral, I'm worried that the childbirth and me breastfeeding is all going to add to this and he's going to end up looking at me in a different way and not fancy me anymore. I don't want to tell him how much it's bothering me because I'm really glad that he was honest with me and I don't want him thinking that he can't tell me how he feels for fear of upsetting me, also I don't want to make it a big issue and have him worrying about it too in case that makes things worse.

I feel awful because I get upset then I worry about the baby and I was enjoying being pregnant so much and I feel guilty now for the baby because I feel quite sad instead of excited.

I just wanted to find out if other women/men have had a similar thing with their husbands/wives/partners and if it all turned out ok in the end?

Thanks x



[Modified by: Eve76 on 14 May 2008 13:23:12 ]

Replies

  • hi hun, i know exactly how you feel. me and my fella havent had sex in months, partly because instead of my sex drive increasin, it died a death as iv felt very low. the other reason is for the same reason as you have said.
    both of us have been honest and have said we cant wait for our sexlife to start again.
    i honestly believe that if you are honest with each other and dont punish each other and love each other it will work out ok.
    hope that helps. xxx
  • Thanks so much for replying babyfizz, so glad i'm not the only one, hopefully things might work out! Just been thinking recently how perfect everything was, typical isn't it! image xx
  • Hi Eve76

    I was in the exact same position as you when I was pregnant, I got so fed up with everyone telling me how much they were getting throughout their pregnancies when my boyfriend wasn't really interested in sex.

    I also had the same worries as you, would it get worse after breastfeeding etc but now nearly 10 months on I can promise that everything will get back to normal eventually in your sex life, your husband is seeing you and his unborn child as fragile, not a sex object, and it is completely normal for men to feel like that and doesn't reflect anything bad about you.

    I wish I had someone tell me all this when I was pregnant because I really wound myself up about it all and probably only got it out of my head over the last few months! Please don't torture yourself, you are about to experience the most amazing thing in the world do not let this stop you from enjoying any part of it.

    Have you seen that film Knocked Up? I watched it 2 weeks after having my baby and alot of it rung true with me! Your hubby sounds really loving and supportive, you will be ok I promise. It will just take some time for him to see you as a sex goddess again, and he will trust me! But then you probably will be too knackered and not want it anyway ha ha!

    Good luck with everything xx
  • My hubby was exactly the same! But it was fine after the birth...so fine I am 8 weeks pregnant & Violet not quite 6 months old!!!!!!
  • When I was pregnant with my dd my oh couldn't get enough of me- he loved my pregnant body, which helped me alot BUT when I was expecting our ds he hardly came near me!!! It was awful I felt so self conscious but on hindsight I do realise that he couldn't help how he was feeling and it was no reflection on our relationship or how he felt about me.
    It won't get worse after you have your child- in fact you will probably find that after he sees you going through childbirth he will have a new found respect for you as a woman.
    Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy with or without sex and enjoy cuddling with your oh in the meantime.
  • Thank you all so much for your replies, I feel so much better about things now! I was getting so worked up thinking that it wasn't normal and got myself into a right state about it. I feel much more positive now and am determined to relax and just enjoy everything and not worry so much!!

    thanks again!!! xxx
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