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It's not normal...

MrsV06MrsV06
in Relationships
Need some advice/reassurance ladies please...
I had my boy in Nov, but didn't get the birth I'd always wanted, because I had pre-eclampsia, and couldn't be induced because the awkward little man was breech-bum engaged!! I had NO labour, no contractions or anything. Had an emergancy caesarian, and felt numb when he was pulled out of me. Didn't get any of the overwhelming emotions I'd expected, and felt guilty for not feeling anything. I didn't reject him, I did love him immediately, just couldn't place him as mine, as I didn't feel I'd given birth. Had undiagnosed PND for a while after, but am much better now.
However, my problem, is that I'm SO jealous of pregnant women, knowing that in all probability they'll have a natural birth. I'm really struggling to accept that I had no choice, and feel that I've been cheated out of experiencing childbirth. I'm not mad to want to feel the pain, I always wanted to experience it. I'm so bad, that a friend of mine gave birth today, and I say I'm happy for her, and I am, but I hate the fact that she's experienced childbirth and I didn't. I'd feel happier to know she'd had a caesarian too, but that wasn't the case for her.
Please help. My husband tries, but doesn't really understand how I feel. I'm so sad...
I'm loving being a mum, and love my baby so much, and really cherish the time we spend together.
Am I going mad???
Thanks x

Replies

  • Mum0f2Mum0f2
    Hi hun, didn't want to read and run, just wanted to let you know that i don't think you're mad for feeling the way you do. I was lucky enough to have natural births with mine but my best friend has had pre-eclampsia twice with both her pregnancies resulting in emergency c-sections. She has never been in labour, never felt a contraction & never given birth. She seems to have accepted it now (her youngest is now 4yrs) but it took her a long time to deal with it. She felt detached & as the babies were both..
  • Mum0f2Mum0f2
    In scbu for a while, she struggled to feel like it was really her baby. Being in labour & pushing a baby out is something that most people think all mothers have been through. So many people have asked her, oh is the labour really as bad as it sounds etc. But she doesnt know, people just assume because she's got kids. I'm sure in time you will get over this, you may feel you've been robbed of a "proper birth" but you are lucky enough to be a MUM & that is a much better thing to experience! Hope i've helped

    [Modified by: Mum0f2 on July 15, 2008 12:50 AM]

  • sundaeshoes1sundaeshoes1
    i had emergancy c section to but after i ahd my lo he was taken to another hosptial where i was left back at the other one for 24 hrs we wernt even in the same building the section happend so quick oh missed everything he turned up and was handed a baby and told its your son!!! we both we were a bit down for a while i have friends who say next time will be different but it wont coz the chances are ill have another section which i dont mind as least oh will be there i changed my attitude when i stoppped ant throught every baby comes a different way and when the months go by its your job as a mother to bring them up propley and thats what motherhhod is about not getting them out its what you do after that counts and now is the time to work on that.
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