baby death - advice?

Replies

• wannababy

  Jun 26, 2008 9:57AM

  hi im sorry to hear about your friends loss. i dont know what to say but i didnt want to read and run. maybe a phone call just so she knows you are there for her and her partner and that you are thinking of them. i would send a card and a letter so they know you will always be there for them if they need you. your friend will probably want time and its hard to say what she will feel like because everybody grieves in different ways. if you know the cause of death (sorry i couldnt think of another way of putting that) you could always make a donation to a charity for example,if it was cot death send a donation to the cot death assoiation and let her know you are going to support them.
  again, so so sorry to hear about this. send hugs to you and your friends xx

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• waiting4baby

  Jun 26, 2008 10:54AM

  oh god i feel like crying reading that and holding on to lo so tight. the poor girl, i dont really know what you could do given i couldnt even begin to know how she is feeling although i obviously have a rough idea. i think a card is a good idea, personally though i hate the 'with sympathy' ones and would go for a 'thinking of you' or 'sending you hugs' type instead. cards are nice and show you care but she will need more than that, i dont think it will be about gifts and i'd imagine at the moment she probably does want space but as has been said people grieve differently so she may want the complete opposite. i think i would probably give a phone call too, the problem is when you need people for things like this quite a lot stay away purely because they dont know what to say but all you really need to do is show youre there and bring some normality back. perhaps invite her to yours for coffee or something, id imagine her house is full of nasty reminders atm. perhaps suggest going away somwhere, offer to help if shes going to pack stuff up, dont push her and let her do things at her own pace but be there to listen, support and help make sure she can move on. oh and make sure she knows its not her fault! look after yourself and her and her oh, maybe you could take a casserole over im sure they dont feel like cooking? thoughts with them and you take care

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• waiting4baby

  Jun 26, 2008 10:54AM

  sorry turns out it did work!
  
  [Modified by: waiting4baby on June 27, 2008 09:46 AM]
  

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• waiting4baby

  Jun 26, 2008 10:55AM

  oops
  
  [Modified by: waiting4baby on June 27, 2008 09:47 AM]
  

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• waiting4baby

  Jun 26, 2008 10:55AM

  !
  
  [Modified by: waiting4baby on June 27, 2008 09:47 AM]
  

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• Babybon

  Jun 29, 2008 5:56AM

  hi ladies - thank you for your posts - I sent a card yesterday...took a while to decide what to write but hope it means something to them.I can't stop thinking about them.
  thanks again
  xx

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• Babybon

  Jun 29, 2008 5:57AM

  hi ladies - thank you for your posts - I sent a card yesterday...took a while to decide what to write but hope it means something to them.I can't stop thinking about them.
  thanks again
  xx

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• susanj

  Jul 9, 2008 4:43PM

  hi, sending a card is good as at least your friend knows you are there for her. ring sooner rather than later if you can though as friends have said to me that the longer they have left it the more awkward it becomes. even if your friend is not upto talking, just knowing you are there when she needs you is enough. it is a terribly tragic thing to have happened and i hope your friend is as well as can be expected. (for gifts other then flowers, there are some lovely ornaments from willow tree, i particularly like the 'remember' and 'angel of mine' ones - things to keep and cherish).
  susan x

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• susanj

  Jul 9, 2008 4:44PM

  hi, sending a card is good as at least your friend knows you are there for her. ring sooner rather than later if you can though as friends have said to me that the longer they have left it the more awkward it becomes. even if your friend is not upto talking, just knowing you are there when she needs you is enough. it is a terribly tragic thing to have happened and i hope your friend is as well as can be expected. (for gifts other then flowers, there are some lovely ornaments from willow tree, i particularly like the 'remember' and 'angel of mine' ones - things to keep and cherish).
  susan x

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• LoraLoo

  Jul 11, 2008 9:39AM

  Im very sorry to hear about your friends loss. I lost my baby girl Eve suddenly in December at 5 days old. You did the right thing sending a card. I also think its important to keep in contact as the months go by- when it feels that everyone has forgotton about your baby. Phone her up just to say you are thinking of her...some days she wont want to speak to you, but it will mean so much to her knowing someone cares. I would also tell her about SANDS, if she hasnt heard of it before- it is a fantastic support network for bereaved mums/dads etc
  Love Lora xxxxx

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• LoraLoo

  Jul 11, 2008 9:39AM

  Im very sorry to hear about your friends loss. I lost my baby girl Eve suddenly in December at 5 days old. You did the right thing sending a card. I also think its important to keep in contact as the months go by- when it feels that everyone has forgotton about your baby. Phone her up just to say you are thinking of her...some days she wont want to speak to you, but it will mean so much to her knowing someone cares. I would also tell her about SANDS, if she hasnt heard of it before- it is a fantastic support network for bereaved mums/dads etc
  Love Lora xxxxx

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