Relationship with husband after baby.

Replies

• upsydaisy

  May 14, 2008 5:17AM

  it sounds like u might be suffering from PND feeling a bit low and baby annoying you.. i wud go and chat to ur doc or HV whichever one u get on best with.. let them decide.. just tell them exactly what u have told us.. x

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• MrsC06

  May 14, 2008 5:27AM

  i wouldn't say i feel sad or depressed though....

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• Beebee

  May 14, 2008 6:46AM

  my husband is lucky to be alive after the way I felt about him the first few months after having my son. You are a raging hormonal mess, you have just had a baby so I wouldn't act on anything you are feeling for a while & just let things settle down where your relationship is concerned. I too would sometimes look at the baby & think god, just shut up for a minute so I can have some time to myself, esp when I was feeling shit about me & oh, it was all too much emotion to deal with, as long as you arne't having feelins to hurt lo then imo it is normal as babies, no matter hw much you loe them, are bloody hard work.
  
  Also the loss of self is hard to deal with, one minute you are just you next you are MUM. You need to some "me" time, take a day off, let oh look atfer baby & you go out alone & be you for a while. Speak to the HV but don't assume there is anything wrong with you as there really isn't, apart from the normal hormones that come with giving birth, not to mention sleep deprivation, the fact you now have this person totally dependant on you & that you have probably fogotten who you are after being preggers & then having your baby. So take some time out & get someone else to take over for a while.

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• Mum80

  May 27, 2012 10:35AM

  I am so glad you wrote that.  My baby is 19 weeks and I feel the same.  I don't know why but sometimes I just feel that it would be easier if it was just me and the baby.  I've tried to speak to other people about it-inc my husband.  I am still on maternity leave and have worked all my life and I think being at home with a baby whilst trying to make sure your husband is happy is hard work.  I read somewhere that if you stick together till they are 2 you will be ok and things will get better.  

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• oscar2

  May 27, 2012 7:51PM

  hi mrs co6

  wanted to let you know ive had similar thoughts, my relationship was far from perfect prior to LO - my oh wasnt great to me when i was pregnant, he can be very selfish - selfishness and a LO don't mix. Now baby is here he loves him so much, but essentially he still has a strong desire to put himself first while im absolutely always thinking of LO, our home, work etc it sometimes feels like he doesnt deserve much consideration after all that when he can be so selfish. i think we both neglect our relationship and i have the feeling that he can grow up or not while i get on with everything else. i should probably make more effort with our sex life and pleasing him in general but i dont feel like i have the energy or inclination! Sometimes i do get scared we wont make it, but as long as things arent really bad i sort of feel like the best thing for LO is for mummy and daddy to be together and i really could not bare the thought of sharing my son

   

  for me this hasnt really gone away and LO is 9 months...however, it is totally normal for you to go off sex and feel you have no energy for your relationship, and an understanding partner should expect this really at the stage you're at. feeling irritated with your baby is normal - yes, you love him - but that doesnt mean the constant whinging and grizzleing doesnt get to you. as long as you can find ways to get through that without getting cross with him and you still feel lots of positive emotions towards him id say its ok. time out would do you the world of good, even if its just a couple of hours to catch up on sleep!

  xx

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• Glittergal

  Jul 20, 2012 6:50PM

  Mrsc06, I would defo speak to your HV if your feellings towards your LO has changed. You probably have PND and it only gets worse....I left it 3 years to speak to someone thinking it would get better on its own, but it doesnt.

  xx

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• Avraham

  Jul 15, 2014 7:57PM

  I have to say this... I have been there for my wife since day one of conception. Have gone to all of her appointments, stood there without moving through labor and now that the LO is born, i take him to the baby sitter, help at night, help at home and our relationship is going from awesome to good, to bad to are we going to make it?. She has anger, feels like anything i say is a personal attack, etc. Now, i am not complaining or whining, my point with all of this is Since you (women) are the only ones who feel all of this, it would be wise if you talk with your partner and tell them how you feel. Remember that he is there with you and supporting you. Pushing him out the door on a daily basis is only going to end up there... OUT THE DOOR. As humans we can sympathize with the woman that just gave birth, but remember, men also have an important part in raising the kid. A simple conversation could go a LONG WAY...

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• Wendy002

  Sep 3, 2015 1:47AM

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• katelo6

  Apr 14, 2016 4:18PM

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• Skl

  Jul 17, 2016 10:40PM

  Hi,  my baby is 9 months now and I feel the same way about my husband. We're trying for another baby already as I have endometriosis but I don't really want sex anymore,  or even be touched and feel aweful about it as I don't get 'turned on' anymore and we've only been married 2 1/2 years.

   I've had depression for a few years and came off them when trying to conceive.  I've had to go back on them due to post natal depression so maybe you should see ur doctor to see if they can help u. U also have midwife and health visitor to talk to.  

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• Skylar

  Aug 26, 2016 1:55PM

  Im feeling the same way, weve only been married just over 3 years so don't feel like I should be feeling this way, we have an 11 month old and are trying for another, I'd love another and so does he. I have my own business so I work a lot of evenings plus look after our LO in the day, hubby works hard and I appreciate that but he comes home and expects to do nothing, he's a good dad but he's certainly not the great dad I thought he'd be, considering he only sees her for maybe half hour a day during the week sometimes he comes home & can't be bothered with her or plays with her for 5 mins and feels like that's enough, it upsets me, then I have to do most of the cooking, cleaning etc in the evenings too as he's been working all day, as if I sit around doing nothing all day, he's always snappy and never gives me compliments or really says anything nice to me anymore, I'm just really fed up 

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• Ytsrik1978

  Aug 26, 2016 8:05PM

  Ho it was 18 months before any sex happened for us after my daughter and before that I got dad to leave as he was useless let him come back and things are going bad again 

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