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please help stressed out

I'm new to this site in fact i'm new to chat rooms altogether. I need some advice i have a 14 month old daughter and having been thinking about trying for another baby but have been through so much lately.
I had a really bad pregnancy as i had placent previa which was very stress full as i bled from 29 weeks, spent four weeks in hospital and never really left after that. Also we moved house right at he end of my pregnancy, plus i had to give up work due going in and out of hopsital. I was then diagnosed with pd. I have felt really lonely lately, due to this my husband and i have been struggling as we been together 7 yrs and have got sort of stuck in a rut but we r trying to work things out and so far so good. I'm sorry to go on but i just wanted to know if its normal for couples to go through this? also if other mums exprience feeling lonely and when do you know is a good time to have another baby as i'm sacred about having to go through all this again but would love a brother or sister for Keira


  • Everyone goes through stressful times and get stuck in a rut. I've been with my husband for 10 years and having baby no 3 but still have good and bad days. We went thru a really rough patch when our 2nd daughter was 1 and split for 6 wks - it was the worse time of my life but also the best thing that could have happened as it really made us think about what we wanted from life and each other. Luckily we were able to sort things out and now appreciate each other more and understand each other more.

    Dont get me wrong - we still row etc but never let hings get to the stage where theres no return.

    As for loneliness - it comes with being pregnant I think. I find that people dont invite u to things like you have some kind of infectious disease. Even some friends lose touch. Just make sure u get yourself out and about and where possible continue to have some sort of social life both with and without ur hubby.
  • Yes all relationships go through bad patches but I wouldn't try for another baby until you are sure you and your oh are okay. If you are having a hard time another baby will just make things more difficult for you as you will be tired etc.

    Try setting aside some us time for you and ur hubby a set night a week where you snuggle up on the sofa and watch a dvd or even playing a board game (this mite sound a bit granny but you will soon find it will get you chatting!!)

    As for your worries about actually giving birth- no two pregnancies are the same and no two births are the same so you may not have any difficulties at all next time.

    Good luck whatever you decide
  • I agree with Kthom. Better you just try to make things better between u guys b4 adding even more pressure 4 both of you. I have 4 kids and to be honest a few yrs gap in between each is better in my opinion.. Sounds to me hun that u need to get out a bit on your own. If pos try and sort out something where you can have a couple v hours say 2 times a week to yourself. I just joined a gym and it has made me feel soooooooooooooo much better u have no idea. When people talk to me there its for me,not as a mum. Sometimes we dont realise how little time we give to ourselfs untill were mega deppressed n upset etc etc. Just a idea hun..try it. watever it is, walking. go to a museaum,go 2 a park,read watever,but try to do something for yourself.
    Good luck.
  • i just wanted to thank everyone for those replies. Its been a couple of weeks now and after many arguements, tears and me moving out for a while we finally sat down and talked. He realised how he had been taking me for granted and after leaving him with keira for a day he realised just how hard it is. We have now started going out once a week, watching dvds, playing games ( u were right not so grannyish as i thought, very funny in fact). I have also looked at myself and started putting make up back on, buying clothes and going back out with my friends. As i'm only 26 i have realised i still need a life of my own and theres nothing wrong with making myself feel good, not to mention my hubby is really enjoying the old me coming back. I thinking i might even look into that gym suggestion. As for another baby i'm just taking every day as it comes at the mo and just loving and enjoying the family i already have.
    Many thanks again
    sophia x
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