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I'm a complete mess....
I don't even know where to start, anyone have any opinions, ideas or suggestions, I'd be so greatful.
Okay I work nights in a nursing home, and have three children under four, hubby up and left me last week saying he needs to sort himself, so I am officially a single parent now. I returned to work from maternity leave on July 1st and have baby who is seven months old. I can't even begin to make ends meet on my pay. I work part time and picking up extra shifts is going to be nightmare because looking at child care is starting to really scare me. Child care and rent will leave me about 300 pounds a month short!!!! Now I know I'm should apply for chid tax or something, I phoned council tax and they said they'd send me a claim form. Here's my big problem on top of it all. I had to take a week off sick to be in hospital with my daughter in August when she started having seizures and was diagnosed for epilepsy. Now I have been going to work for three weeks with a kidney infection but passed out twice from the pain and the second time was rushed to hospital. I have been diagnosed with kidney disease and signed off work for three weeks to recover. The second week in October I have surgery for a hernia which I incurred at work, but for that I must take another 3 weeks off work. My boss is to exceptionally grouchy and unhappy with me over the amount of sick time I am having to take off. I am feeling really uncomfortable in my work place and there has been word spread along the grape vine that I no longer have any right to my seniority and am going to be demoted. It has been a really, really bad 6 week period. I am in constant pain, my husband has left me, I'm broke and I'm scared of loosing my job, oh and my daughter is in and out of hospital. Sorry to moan, I just don't even know what to do. My mil keeps telling me just quit your job and go on benefits because I need to heal from my what will be three operations in 2 months (one on the hernia, and two on my kidney), and sort out my meds and stabilize my kidney disease, and sort of sort my head out with regards to my family. But I was always really happy not to be on benefits because there are so many people who need it so much more than me and I don't want to take things from others if you know what I mean. I've been having trouble really at my job since I told them I was pregnant. I was kind of ignored and treated with hostility over it, and when I said I wanted to come back they acted surprised I still wanted to be there. They'd expected me to quit, even though I said I would be coming back. They never even asked if I had a girl or a boy, never said congrats or anything really quite cold about it. I'd love to find a new job but I just don't think Im up to job interviews atm. Especially as I am also moving in two weeks due to lease running out and with out hubby to cosign they won't let me keep the flat. Sorry for the novel. I just don't even know what to do anymore. Feel so low.
Thanks for reading
xxx
Okay I work nights in a nursing home, and have three children under four, hubby up and left me last week saying he needs to sort himself, so I am officially a single parent now. I returned to work from maternity leave on July 1st and have baby who is seven months old. I can't even begin to make ends meet on my pay. I work part time and picking up extra shifts is going to be nightmare because looking at child care is starting to really scare me. Child care and rent will leave me about 300 pounds a month short!!!! Now I know I'm should apply for chid tax or something, I phoned council tax and they said they'd send me a claim form. Here's my big problem on top of it all. I had to take a week off sick to be in hospital with my daughter in August when she started having seizures and was diagnosed for epilepsy. Now I have been going to work for three weeks with a kidney infection but passed out twice from the pain and the second time was rushed to hospital. I have been diagnosed with kidney disease and signed off work for three weeks to recover. The second week in October I have surgery for a hernia which I incurred at work, but for that I must take another 3 weeks off work. My boss is to exceptionally grouchy and unhappy with me over the amount of sick time I am having to take off. I am feeling really uncomfortable in my work place and there has been word spread along the grape vine that I no longer have any right to my seniority and am going to be demoted. It has been a really, really bad 6 week period. I am in constant pain, my husband has left me, I'm broke and I'm scared of loosing my job, oh and my daughter is in and out of hospital. Sorry to moan, I just don't even know what to do. My mil keeps telling me just quit your job and go on benefits because I need to heal from my what will be three operations in 2 months (one on the hernia, and two on my kidney), and sort out my meds and stabilize my kidney disease, and sort of sort my head out with regards to my family. But I was always really happy not to be on benefits because there are so many people who need it so much more than me and I don't want to take things from others if you know what I mean. I've been having trouble really at my job since I told them I was pregnant. I was kind of ignored and treated with hostility over it, and when I said I wanted to come back they acted surprised I still wanted to be there. They'd expected me to quit, even though I said I would be coming back. They never even asked if I had a girl or a boy, never said congrats or anything really quite cold about it. I'd love to find a new job but I just don't think Im up to job interviews atm. Especially as I am also moving in two weeks due to lease running out and with out hubby to cosign they won't let me keep the flat. Sorry for the novel. I just don't even know what to do anymore. Feel so low.
Thanks for reading
xxx
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Replies
I haven't any real constructive advice as I have no idea what it must be like for you at the moment but all I can say is seek advice about work and benefits and do not feel guilty about work when you need to look after yourself x
Your husband has a financial responsibility to his children so get what you can from him.
I too would seriously consier going on benefits whilst you are having your operations & also whilst you get back on your feet emotionally.
You have paid into the system & this is what it is for. You arne't going to be on benefits forever but it is a good option for someone in your predicament.
But tbh, I would be focussing how to get your husband to take his financial responsibilty for you & the kids. How nice for him to just up 7 leave 3 kids under 4 to sort himself out. what a totally selfish wanker. So speakw ith the cab & csa too, also a solicitor & get him for all you can, it's you & kids now so you need to be tough.
i agree with all the advice above and think you really do need to take timeout for a while cos not only are you entitled but your ill and your kids need there mum seeing as dad has done a runner from his resposibilities ... god knows how he would coop if you had done that to him!!!
why not look in to taking a course or something for while you are not working that way your not "taking hand outs " as you think ,you are getting more qualifications so that your next job is better paid
good luck babe and look after yourself and the wee ones
fea x
xx
What does he mean, he wont pay any child maintenance? He has no choice in it, if he has a job & has decided to go find himeslf leaving 3 kids then he will have to pay what they tell him to pay. It may not be alot but he will pay. They will take it from his salary if he makes a problem so tought shit if he doesn't like it. He sounds like an arse & you are better off without him.
Good luck with the move & the meeting with the advisor. Have you contacted the Citizens Advice yet? If not, call them today.