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Adding to 'Domestic Violence'

It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach that there are actually a hell of a lot of women out there who have endured and are still enduring what i went through. It seems like theres a manual for violent men who seem to do the same things over and over again.

I think, now that i am a lot stronger than in the past and i can actually laugh about stuff that happened to me, i've also become very hard-nosed about this sort of thing.
I can now see the upsides to the 'relationship' and what happened to me and i'm bloody grateful for it (it seems sick, i know). I was only 14 when it started and although the relationship ended when i was 16, the abuse carried on physically until i was 17 and verbally untill only recently (i'm 19). I found out i was pregnant when i just turned 15, told the father (i thought it would 'fix' things), who at first was extatic to be becoming a daddy. He made all sorts of plans that i went along with to make him happy. As soon as i disagreed about something really trivial ( i think it was something like nursery wallpaper :S:S:S) he punched me so hard in the stomach i miscarried. I was 14 weeks. It was the worst pain in my life, but i can now look back and think that because that happened, i started the process of being stronger and leaving him. This guy took most of my decent teenage years and my baby away from me but i now don't have a child with him, but a gorgeous little boy with my current partner and i'm happier than i have ever been.

He was a complete asshole but he made me who i am today. He got what he deserved. Jail. I got what i deserved. Happiness.

Basically what i am saying is that whether it takes you weeks, months or years to get free from it and be happy with yourself and your family, it WILL happen. I'm just sort of grateful that it did happen to me when i was young so i have so many many more years to not see his sorry ass again. Some women don't get that privilige. Don't be one of those women!!

Happiness, love and life are far stronger than muscle and pathetic immaturity.


Lucy X
xXx

Replies

  • Lucy,

    I totally agree with the point you made and can only say how proud you should be to have picked yourself up and got on with your life rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.

    It is also good to hear you say that what you went through makes you the person you are today- this is totally true.

    Sadly this isn't always true for all women- my mil was bullied and abused by her husband for years (he even pointed a gun to her head on numerous occasions) and it took her about 10 years to actually leave him. She has only overcome HER guilt about 2 years ago-almost 20 years after leaving him.

    I think this is really sad and when she bumps into him on occasion she is a quivering mess. She has remarried and is totally devoted and happy but still can't get over what happened to her. There are a lot of women out there who are like that.
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