Clueless Men...

lauriecajigas · Mar 2, 2008 4:24AM

I dont know if I am being unreasonable or hormonal. Hopefully you all can enlighten me...

Lo is 3 and a half months old now. I feel like hubby has not done his share and it is really ticking me off. I know I am on maternity leave so it is my job to care for lo and I love doing it. He works 9-5 Mon-Fri. And is so adament on going to his Muay Thai training every Tues, Thurs and Saturday. I feel that this leaves me with less help since the days he doesn't go, he usually sits in front of the tv and I have to cook and clean up after him. On his training days during the week, he isn't home until 830pm. And on Saturdays, he goes for a few hours at noon. I have had to sacrifice my social life, I can't go work out whenever i want, or do things i want and I am so bitter that he can just continue on like when he wasn't a father. I've asked him if i can go snowboarding or out with friends and he always gives me a hard time if i am gone more than a couple hours. If he helped around the house, or didn't act so lazy I don't think his training days would be an issue. I just feel it isn't fair for me. Then again, I know the responsiblity of baby is much more on mom than dad. Am i being crazy to feel this way?:\? The days we argue about this, he leaves and stays at his office and doesn't even help take care of lo for days. I'm so bitter.

butters · Jan 22, 2008 5:07AM

I can see exactly where you are coming from. For a while, I used to feel exactly the same in that I was thinking i'm at home all day trying to get the house tidy whilst keeping lo entertained at the same time, whilst at some point in the day, trying to grab a little bit of "me" time. Hubby gets in at around sixish and play with lo for a while and then that would seem to be it, back to mummy!!! I decided (along with a new year resolution!!) to try and tone up a bit, so each week I go to a local exercise class (it's only an hour at a time but it's time away, out of the house) and arrange once a fortnight to visit a friend whilst lo stays at home with oh.....i've never asked oh to look after lo on these nights, i've just told him thats what i'm doing and gone and done it. If you can put up with it, try holding back on the cooking and cleaning up after him....if he wants food, he can cook it for you, if he moans that the house is a mess tell him you're busy looking after your lo and he's welcome to do the tidying up himself....fingers crossed he'll learn that looking after lo is not as easy and straightforward as it seems and might come to appreciate that you need time for yourself, especially when you consider how much time he gets to himself....men can be so brainless sometimes!!! $:\$ )

Wilko · Jan 22, 2008 5:25AM

ive not yet been in this situation but how about leaving oh for a day to look after lo on his own. maybe then he would realise what hard work it is. tell him you're going out all day on sunday (?) and see if he manages to have a meal cooked, lo sorted and the house tidy.......!?! i bet not!
good luck hon, really hope you sort things out x

lauriecajigas · Jan 22, 2008 2:22PM

If I told him I was going out all day, he'd fight with me about it and not come home for nights. Leaving me with no choice but not to go, or take lo with me. Yesterday I've even tried to tell him that I'm going snowboarding this Sunday, but he said no since it is for more than a few hours. Of course, we got into an argument about it, and he left last night. Thing is too, he won't come back for a few days or until things are civil between us. That also makes me bitter. Thank god i have help from my parents whom live only a few blocks away...

anitarose · Jan 24, 2008 10:15PM

i dont mean to be blunt but if he just goes off for days because he is selfish why are you still with him seems to me you are coping really well on your own just because you are a mum does not mean you cant have time for yourself he seems a very selfish man indeed i hope you can sort it all out and get a bit of luxury time for yourself x

gabe26 · Mar 2, 2008 4:24AM

:?

[Modified by: gabe26 on March 02, 2008 07:00 PM]

Clueless Men...

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