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Smoking
My hubby started smoking again beginging of last year after some difficult times at work (he gave up when we met 7 years ago as i said i wldnt date a smoker) He only eva smoked outside as he knew i hated it. i tried to encourage him to give up when we were ttc as was worried about his soliders but he didnt although he promised he wld by time babe was born. am now 32 weeks n he gave up last thursday, I know i should be really pleased and i keep telling him how well he is doing but he has become so irritable from nicotine withdrawl. it doesnt help im feeling all hormonal so taking things a bit more personally. anyone know how long it takes to get over nicotine dependance or have any ideas how i can put up with him lol. thanks xx
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I stopped smoking 6 years ago with the help of the fantastic book 'the easy way to stop smoking'. The really good thing about the book is that it encourages you to smoke while you read, and only tells you to stop when you're ready. When you do stop, you feel in control and you are equiped with what to do if you do find yourself wanting a cigarette.
I replaced my smoking with eating apples and when I had enough of apples I stopped that too and NEVER looked back. The book works so well because it doesn't try to tell you all the usual health stuff that any smoker already knows, it just talks to your common sense on why smoking is such a rediculous habit.
The one thing though - don't buy the book for someone else - get them to buy it. I know it sounds odd, but by going out and getting the book they already make a step forward to stopping. If you buy the book for them, they don't have the chance to go through the decision that the book could help. Sound odd, but it's true!
Good luck and your husband / other readers can really do it - the other good thing with the book is that when you stop, you really do. The moods and craving don't come back, because you are in control!
Hope this helps and good luck once again!
Basically when I met my wife (3???? years ago) I knew she was a smoker, and was trying to give up. She has tried on many occasions to stop (for which I have been supportive and also praised her), but after a while she will start smoking again. Usually when she starts again, it's kept a secret and hidden from me best she can.
Everyone knows that it is almost impossible to hide the fact that someone smokes, no matter how hard they try. For the fear of a big argument, I don't say anything at first, but eventually feel compelled to say something. At which point the fact she smokes is denied, soon followed by her continuing to smoke, but me knowing about it. It was never easy, but I guess I sort of lived with it. She had the longest success, when she got a prescription for nicorette lozenges.
Last December, just before Christmas we found out that my wife was pregnant and the news was fantastic for both of us. The baby was planned and we both couldn't have been happier. At the time, I remember her saying that as she was pregnant, that was it, she would give up
As far as I know she did, and has done since then, but unfortunately, I am 99% sure that she has started again. I'm not angry with her, but I am disappointed that she again is hiding it from me and probably her work colleagues as well.
Not having been a smoker myself, I can't imagine how difficult it is to give up, and also being pregnant, she is possibly embarrassed to ask anyone for help.
The 20 week scan is not all that far away now, but I just don't know how to be any more supportive than I already am, and also how to bring this out in the open without there being denial again, and possibly nothing being done about it.
I know she needs to want to give up, and I can't make her do it, but with her now being pregnant with our first child, I can't sit back and not say anything about it.
Any thoughts or suggestions would be warmly welcomed.
[Modified by: Dave W on March 12, 2007 05:29 PM]
I to smoked until i found out i was pregnant & the day i found out i stopped with no questions asked. I yerned to have a baby & thats what made me think to myself that i do not want to be the cause of losin my own baby or it havin a low birth weight. Although even now when i feel stressed the 1st thing i want to do is want to smoke but i never do.
Mayb u should talk about the effects smokin has on babies in side the womb & see how she reacts. Its hard to tell a woman what they should & shouldnt do bcos we have r own mind & wont listen.
See if there is anythin botherin her or is she stessed about somethin & hasnt told u about it? There must b a reason for her to still be smokin bcos there is no greater reason to quit than being pregnant.
Try to express ur concerns in the nicest way possible cos us woman r emotional more so in pregnancy.
Good luck with ur wife & baby*
[Modified by: tess1 on March 12, 2007 05:47 PM]
[Modified by: tess1 on March 12, 2007 05:48 PM]
My wife works in a job that I know can be stressful sometimes, if not most of the time. That could well be a reason or indeed the only reason why she has started again. It could also be nicoteen withdrawl, but I just don't know.
Either way I know I need to talk to her about it, but I know it will be just like the last few times, possibly even worse because she's pregnant and definately doesn't want me to know she's smoking.
I could just leave it until the 20 week scan (in a couple of weeks time), and just say something in front of the midwife. Trouble is I'm not that cruel and it would probably be worse than me saying something to my wife about it now.
I'm tempted to leave a note where she keeps her packet, explaining how I feel and that she is not alone etc. That's probably not the best move, but it will get my side across and will allow her to read it in peace, rather than having a big arguement over it.
Dave