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Interferring Mum!

Hi all,

Not sure if anyone can offer some advise but I'm going to rant anyway to get it off my chest. My mother is too interferring. My LO is 3 mnths and ever since she was born my mum has been lookoing over my shoulder and just interferring in everything. I know she means well but she's crossed that line of being helpful to just really damn annoying. Firstly it was about how often we bath the baby, we bathed her once a week and top and tailed her everyday, we were told by the midwives that babies do not need to be bathed often as they don't get dirty enough to have a bath every night and bathing everyday can dry their skin. But my mum just would not been told that! She wanted us to bath her every night, when I tried to explain she would say 'Have you asked the Mid-wife?' I'd say yes and explain again and this carried on for ages. Now it's about weaning, The thing is my mum goes on and on and on and I feel so pressured! I've got to the point where I'm so fed up of her interferring that we had a huge row at the weekend. I've apologised for my side and tried to explain that she can be a bit too much at times but she's very stubborn and says things in the heat of the moment and has now said she doesn't want to see her grandchild again. With the lack of sleep and other worries she doesn't realise she makes everything so much worse - she's another stress which I really don't need but she won't listen or understand where I'm coming from. My partners parents aren't like this at all. I can't talk to her and she just doesn't understand what she's doing. I don't know what to do.

Replies

  • I think you have done what you can do,you have told her how you feel,now its up to her to calm down and come round to the idea,it is your child,and yes although she probably means well she has to back off abit and let you do things your way.
    To say she doesnt want to see her grandchild again is unfair and childish,i would be very hurt and annoyed if my mum said that!
    Maybe write her a letter,if talking only causes you to both get wound up..
    My mum can get abit overbearing at times,it isnt so much the fact she tries to tell me what to do,she just does not listen half the time and will do things i have asked her not to!though she is getting better lol.
    Sometimes i feel like im invisible and its just her and my son,which does annoy me at times,though she is wonderful with him and loves him to bits,and is a huge help with looking after him when i need her to,so i can work,go out ect...
    You have made the first step,keep going,dont back down now,she will come round in time i hope!x
  • Hey babe, Ive had similar with my MIL and mum and after a while I really had had enough and told both of them "thankyou for your help and advice but I can manage at the moment. If I need a hand I will ask for it thankyou"
    It didnt go down too well but once they took a step back and actually saw what a great job us next generation mummys do they got the message!
    Goodluck babe, just remember its your lo not theirs.They have no right it degrading you by saying things like that.xxxxxxxxxxxx
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