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Husband cheating

Just looking for someone elses point of view. Back in October 2007 my husband and i seperated we have a 16 month old daughter together. This was an extremley hard time and i had to be put on anti-depressants. In January of this year we decided to give it another go. About a month after we got back together he broke down one night and said he had something to tell me and that he had done something stupid. I knew in the back of my head that he had slept with someone else so i was half expecting this. But the next bit im finding very hard to deal with. He told me that the girl he slept with was pregnant. She is only 19 and lives with her parents apparently they are thrilled ! She supposedly told my husband that there was only a slim chance she could get pregnant as she has had complications,
To me this does not excuse sleeping with a stranger without contraception. That goes for my husband aswell.
I really dont know what to do we have stayed together at the moment but im finding it difficult to trust him.:cry:


  • Oh that must be so hard I cant imagine how you are feeling. I think its every wives worst nightmare! I have no advice sorry but didnt want to read and run.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
  • Oh that must be so hard I cant imagine how you are feeling. I think its every wives worst nightmare! I have no advice sorry but didnt want to read and run.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.
  • Oh hun, i dont know what to say, you are very brave by even taking him back in the first place. I know personally i couldnt handle it if my hubby dont that but to have fathered a child aswell would be terrible. I know it is hard but if you trust him then maybe you can work through this but if you cant trust him then you need to think what is best for you and your baby. Sorry the advice isnt great, i just dont know what to say. Good luck hun. xxxxxxxxx
  • i am going to sound really hard especially as you have a little one but i say dump the selfish b**s**rd!!!
    my ex had a secret relationship for 13 months while my son was little and i took him back after about a month i realised he just thought he had got off with it and didn't need to try so i finished it and it was the hardest and most empowering thing i have ever done!! we are now good friends 5 years down the line i never made any problems with him seeing our son and never would hes his dad!! but i just felt i couldn't live with the what if and the maybes .As a foot note i will addd he has had 2 serious relationships since we split and has done the exact same to both women so do you really think a leapard can change... if after a while your feelings change and you are still attracted to each other then take it slow dating and things but don't feel emotionally pressured into making any decisions you call all the shots he is the one in the wrong good luck babe
  • only you can decide but i know i wouldnt give him a second chan ce. i have friends that only stayed together after problems for the kids sake and at the end of the day its the kids that suffer if there parents are not 100% commited to the relationship. hope everthing works out tc xxx
  • Hi my husband cheated on me over 2 yrs ago and i forgave him after a while and we have become stronger than ever but it took time to get the trust back, but if he had fathered a child with her i could never of forgiven him no matter how much i love him its just a no no in my book especially if you have children yourself as my husband and i did our daughter was 3 at the time. I think you need to have a good think about how you feel and sit and have a good talk to your husband as you cant carry on feeling like you are as it will eat you up inside and eventually destroy your relationship for good. good luck with whatever you decide.
    vikki xx
  • Its probably easier to give advice on this looking in from the outside. And what I am going to say to you does not reflect how I would deal with this situation, nor do I condone what has happened BUT I would say yes he had a one night stand which he shouldn't have done but I don't feel you should punish him more just because she is now pregnant. What I am trying to say is that is she wasn't pregnant how would you feel?

    Whether you stay with him or not only you can decide- my husband lied to me for months and stole off me to buy drugs and we split for 6 months. When I took him back I knew he had changed- we have been back together over a year and he is perfect. A fantastic dad and a better husband than I could ever have dreamed of. BUT that doesn't happen often and some ppl find themselves going round in circle for years. Go with your gut instinct if you feel deep down that this relationship can work then put the past behind you and move on. If you can't put the past behind you then it will never work.

    To help you do this I would advise you to sit together and ask him the questions you feel you need answers too. Try not to react (easier said than done) coz he is more likely to be open if you keep calm.

    I would also say that I would insist on a dna test being done- if this girl has done this with one man then there could be others.

    We all make mistakes in life and while I do think that cheating is the ultimate betrayal at least he had the decency to tell you- you didn't have to hear it from someone else. I hope whatever you decide to do that you keep strong and make yourself and your daughter happy
  • Thank you for all of your advise and comments it helps to know that there are people to chat to. x x
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