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Bulimia (advice needed for someone we're concerned about)
Hi everyone,
This is a very personal topic - but need some ideas.....
My brother told me last night that his girlfriend has started making herself sick after eating. She's very worried about her weight all of a sudden, and we seem to have been telling her more often lately that she's absolutely fine and doesn't need to loose weight. She's a size 10 and 5ft4 (approx 9st) She doesn't look overweight at all, in fact she's got a nice figure and is very pretty - she's just not super skinny!
I feel a bit guilty here as last week me and my best friend were talking about my weight (because i'm 16+5 weeks pregnant / twins) and I said that I weigh 8st at the mo. She overheard and said 'I weigh more than that!' (but she's taller than me and I did point that out!).
Anyway, I'm 26 now, when I was 15-20 I suffered from Annorexia then moved to Bulimia - but not as a weight issue, it was through depression (had a rough time during those years). So I know how hard it can be to give up once you have started.... Plus I think my current health problems are due to those years I abused my body.
Maybe part of this is depression related for her as two months ago she fell pregnant and had to have an abortion. Part of her wanted the baby, but part didn't because she knew it would cause too many problems for her. Her parents are very strict and would have cast her aside, plus her and my bro are still very young. I understand it can't be easy for her seeing my belly growing every week, and I try not to talk to her about it much. She keeps saying to my bro things like 'I would have been 20 weeks today' so she obviously still thinks about it.
She doesn't know my bro has told me, (he asked me to speak to her as he knows now what I was doing back then) but I don't feel like I can just charge in telling her what to do.... I didn't tell anyone I was doing it though, and she has told her boyfriend (my bro) so maybe she wants help? It's early stages as she only started this week, so maybe we should try and stop her before it gets out of hand?
Anyone have any ideas on what we should do / how we should approach this?
Sorry for the essay....
& thanks in advance!
This is a very personal topic - but need some ideas.....
My brother told me last night that his girlfriend has started making herself sick after eating. She's very worried about her weight all of a sudden, and we seem to have been telling her more often lately that she's absolutely fine and doesn't need to loose weight. She's a size 10 and 5ft4 (approx 9st) She doesn't look overweight at all, in fact she's got a nice figure and is very pretty - she's just not super skinny!
I feel a bit guilty here as last week me and my best friend were talking about my weight (because i'm 16+5 weeks pregnant / twins) and I said that I weigh 8st at the mo. She overheard and said 'I weigh more than that!' (but she's taller than me and I did point that out!).
Anyway, I'm 26 now, when I was 15-20 I suffered from Annorexia then moved to Bulimia - but not as a weight issue, it was through depression (had a rough time during those years). So I know how hard it can be to give up once you have started.... Plus I think my current health problems are due to those years I abused my body.
Maybe part of this is depression related for her as two months ago she fell pregnant and had to have an abortion. Part of her wanted the baby, but part didn't because she knew it would cause too many problems for her. Her parents are very strict and would have cast her aside, plus her and my bro are still very young. I understand it can't be easy for her seeing my belly growing every week, and I try not to talk to her about it much. She keeps saying to my bro things like 'I would have been 20 weeks today' so she obviously still thinks about it.
She doesn't know my bro has told me, (he asked me to speak to her as he knows now what I was doing back then) but I don't feel like I can just charge in telling her what to do.... I didn't tell anyone I was doing it though, and she has told her boyfriend (my bro) so maybe she wants help? It's early stages as she only started this week, so maybe we should try and stop her before it gets out of hand?
Anyone have any ideas on what we should do / how we should approach this?
Sorry for the essay....
& thanks in advance!
0
Replies
I didnt want to r&r but didnt really know what to suggest, my sister has suffered from bulimia, when i ring her later i will ask what she thinks xxDBxx
I really hope that you can nip this in the bud for your friend, but please dont expect miracles. xxx If it does develop.. she needs alot of support and proffesional help otherwise the battle will go on and on .
I had/have an eating disorder. I been eating properly for at least 18 months but still see my doctor as like you, mine is/was depression related; therefore, they are continuing to monitor me until I have had my little one and know everything is hunky dorey!
From the therapy I have been having for over two years now I understand that mine has been brough on by issues in my life that I have been unable to control; although my weight has never been an issue (the most I weighed in my life, before pregnancy was 9.7st and I am 5ft 4in) it is the one thing, that no matter what happens to me/ around me - I can control.
It seems this may be the case with your brothers girlfriend. May be she feels that she had no real control over what happened recently and there could be other things in her past that are affecting her; she just does not realise.... I too had to have an abortion many years ago and I believe this played a part in me becoming ill.
The fact she has told your brother so quickly, suggests to me it is a 'cry for help'. I didn't admit to having a problem for a long time, when a size 6 hung from me...and my temper was absolutely out of this world (flying into a rage over the most trivial of things, then binging or not eating to make myself feel better)... When I did finally admit I had a problem, I too confided in my partner. Rather than speaking to anyone else, we talked and agreed that I would go and see my doctor, as I didn't want to be feeling as I was at that time any longer. We went together to my GP and I got a referred very quickly (due to work providing me with private health care) to a hospital, where I have been going ever since. At the time I was at my worst the NHS told us it would be 12 months before I could see a specialist in eating disorders, so it may be that your Brothers Girlfriend has to see a normal councillor depending on the 'waiting list'.
I personally think your Brother should talk to her about going to see someone; she's going to need a lot of support from him and he's going to have to be very very patient with her. If she finds out that he has told you, it may make the situation a lot lot worse (especially if you being pregnant is an issue), as she may feel he has betrayed her trust; then she may become more secretive in what she's doing. He needs to keep her talking to him as this is the only way he can monitor the situation until she is getting professional help.
Fingers crossed things are sorted soon! xx
I had a chat with her when I managed to get her on her own and explained what i'd been through. She opened up a bit, and she's told me she's not being sick anymore but not sure I believe her. She has started taking slimming tablets though.... even though she doesn't need to.
Hopefully my brother will be able to help her, i've told him he needs to support her and reassure her about her weight.
xx
[Modified by: snowangel on January 23, 2009 04:03 PM]
Are they ones she has managed to get on the 'black market' or are they like Adios??? If they're Adios (ones you buy from the supermarket), although its not a good thing its better than any others as they mainly work by getting rid of excess water; they all have dandelion extract in.... so it won't encourage any rapid weight loss.
If its anything else, I may be able to tell you how they work as this is something I also got into.
xx
xx
[Modified by: snowangel on January 23, 2009 11:47 PM]
Hoodia Gordoni is a common weight loss pill; which you can buy in Holland & Barrett. Its a herbal one which suppresses your appetite, literally just making you eat less.
Then that are the ones which stop your body from absorbing fat - these tablets are used by GP's for people that are massively overweight and are not commonly prescribed. Some of the cheaper ones on Ebay will work the same but the ingredients will not be as effective. In addition, some contain a small amount of speed.... which also assist quick weight loss. They work by preventing your body from absorbing and fat you eat so passes straight through you, leaving you with bright orange waterty faeces (it is pure fat you are passing!) (sorry TMI); In doing this, your body is burning the fat it already has, making you loose weight. There are numerous names for these tablets and these are the ones that can get expensive. Hoodia Gordoni is more likely to cost up to ??20.00.
If you or your brother can get the same I'm happy to try and confirm exactly what it is and how it will be working.
xx
Thanks for info so far!
xx