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Bad day

I feel I am losing the plot. I screamed at my wee one. I just went up to her face and screamed at her. Its tearing me apart. I feel so guilty. She was crying so much, and in the end she just wanted some food. I feel I have let her down and myself. I feel a failure. I can't think straight. When shes screaming I think of all the things i need to do, and when shes asleep all I do is wander round the house.

I feel I am losing my mind I can't concentrate. This isn't me I want my old self back. I am so angry, and jittery, I don't know who else to speak to about this. The doctor thinks I have the blues. Its a waste of time going back. I felt I was dismissed. I have this beautiful baby, but why the hell do I feel this miserable. I have this dark cloud hanging over me. I don't know what else to do. I feel iam at the end and I don't know how to turn back.

Replies

  • Hi LD

    You really should go back to your doctors, can you request to see another dr?

    Obviously you shouldn't have to feel like this. Do you have anyone who can help, maybe take care of your little one while you have some "me" time?

    Take care & chin up, feel free to come on here and leave me a post.

    Den xx
  • Hi LD, I know exactly how you feel. I've felt the same myself on quite a few occasions and have even lost my temper with my lo who is only 10months old so doesn't even know what he's doing really. A few months ago I spoke to my hv and it was confirmed I'm suffering from PND. She now visits me every fortnight and also put me in touch with a local parent and baby unit where I'm now attending depression help groups, relaxation classes and waiting to see a consultant about medication. I know it can take a while to feel 100% again but it's at least good to feel like I'm now making an effort to improve how I feel so that I can be the mummy that I want to be and that my lo deserves.
    I have a useless doctor as well so see if you can get yourself into a different doctor or even change surgery if you need to.
    But first I would say speak to your hv as mine has been brilliant. I know it all seems scary how you're feeling but there are people out there going through exactly the same and there is help available. Don't feel guilty about it, just remember it's not part of your normal nature and it won't always be like this.
    Take care of yourself xx
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