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Father in Law just found out he has terminal cancer :(

So sad, he had cancer 5 years ago and was given the all clear now it has come back worse in his lungs and in his spine. They have given him a year.

It was such a shock and so sad. my oh is in bits and all over the place one minute really happy about baby then sad because of his dad. Im growing a life whilst his dad is losing his its just so unfair.

I feel terrible as well because I feel hubby cant truely enjoy the pregnacy because of what is happening and i feel bad if i winge about back pain or feeling sick as its nothing really compared to what his dad is going through. Although hubby has been amazing and has treated me the same as before you know like asking how i am making the tea etc but he is so down and confused about how to feel. I am supporting him but he just doesnt want to talk about it (almost forgetting about it) so i am lleaving him alone until he is ready to open up

The baby is due early July, and i really hope his dad is around as its the first grandchild. Maybe it may bring some light to a very dark time

Just feel terrible thinking this but i dont want the year my baby born or their first christmas to be sad because hubbys dad isnt around

Oh its such an awful time

Has anyone else been though anything like this???
thanks Laura (15+6) xxx

[Modified by: mummythomas on 18 January 2008 17:43:06 ]

Replies

  • When i was 6 months pregnant with my 2nd son my mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She did tell me before she died (3 yrs later) that knowing Ollie was coming and seeing him grow up a bit helped her in her fight!

    I hope your father in law feels the same fight in him! It is a horrendous thing for your hubby to be going through, I didnt know whether I was coming or going when we found out about mum. You are doing the best thing you can - being supportive. Unfortunately I didnt have a supportive partner - he didnt get it at all to be honest but by the time we lost her I had my hubby-2-be standing by me and it really really helped!

    I learnt from my mum at the time that she did not want the cancer to take away from the joy of her new grandchild! I hope in some tiny tiny way I have helped as I understand how bloody awful it is!

    Take care and best wishes to your family, Love Lee xxxx
  • Hi, I am going through a similar thing. Found out a couple of weeks ago that my Dad has been diagnosed with Motor Neuron disease which there is no cure for and only has 5 years to live - possibly less as he has the faster acting kind. To make it worse he got his results just hours after I called him to tell him his Grandson had been born. He waited a few weeks before he told me as he didn't want to ruin such a special time.Not sure it has really sunk in for me yet, I have been very upset at times mainly at the thought he is not going to see his grandson grow up. Also it is not a nice disease and he is going to need a lot of care by the end which I'm not going to be able tohelp with as much as I would like since I live abroad.
    I completely sympathise with your oh, it is such an awful thing to go through at any time but even more so when you are about to bring a new life into the world.
    Really makes you realise life is for living! I have told my dad to make list of all the things he has always said 'one day...' to and make 2008 a year of doing all the things he wants to. They say happiness is the best medicine.

    Liz xxx
  • I'm so sorry to hear your news. Not quite the same story with me, but found out couple of weeks ago that dad has terminal cancer of bowel, lung and liver. Real shock as we never had any warning, had pain one day and was admitted to hospital then diagnosed the next.
    I am currently ttc but am still thinking its a bad idea as if i do fall pg he will not see the baby probably. Had recent MC in december also.
    I am a nurse as well so understood all that was being said and the prognosis is poor, few months at best. I know theres lots that can be tried but i feel so guilty about ttc now that we may delay for a while.
    Thinking of all who have had bad news recently and praying that we can be strong and help our families through this.
    Filo x
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