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Family life
Need a bit of advice please - I am main carer for both children, 75% of time. During weekends and holidays my ex thinks I should be constantly taking the children out i.e day trips, activities all sorts, not just being at home ( this is because he does it when he has the children on his weekends and the very rare occasionsduring school holidays) - I believe that those things are important however should be balance with just being able to spend sometime at home - relax, play in the garden with friends, read a book, cook with Mum etc. Please someone tell me that is better to have a balance or else children come to expect to always be doing something and are not able to appreciate 'going out ' when they do.
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Replies
Hello,
I expect everyone opinion may differ but personally I think it is good to have a mixture of outings and organised activities and time at home with things like reading, colouring, playdoh etc. We all need some relaxation time including little ones although they dont think so - well Harry doesnt tend to stop much but he does enjoy colouring so it is some quiter time. Also I think it is good for them to play with their friends using their own imagination etc than being taken places ALL the time.
Perhaps its just a way of your ex trying to critisize you - and maybe its the only thing he can try and complain about.
Hope you manage to sort things out.
I agree with Charmaine.A mixture of both is good.
Trips out are treats for my children.Life is not one long holiday with treats every day.The most of their free time is just that,theirs to do with as they please.They draw,they make stuff,do playdough,painting if I'm feeling brave.I don't expect to constantly be organising what they do.I think it would drive my kids up the wall if I did.
They need time to relax at home and just be children.I think there's nothing better than an empty cardboard box,big old sheets and stuff like that and just leave them to it.
Maybe your ex is going out of his way to show your children a good time.Maybe those are the things he enjoys doing,or he doesn't know how else to amuse them,but it doesn't mean you have to too.Children need nice things to look forward to,but they also need calm and normality
Hi Cazza I agree with Charmaine and Jo,life isn't all about fun!!! As much as you want your kids to have THE best time,they do have to learn about the fact you can't pay for treats all the time.
Also,it's great for them to make up their own fun,and relaxing and having quiet time is all good fun too.I'm guessing your ex is over compensating for the fact he's not the primary carer
which won't help you as they get older,they may expect treats off both parents. I honestly used to try and structure my day around making sure we did activities 24/7 and did outings etc....then a friend gave me the best advice ever. Most of the time being a mum is just that.. BEING!!!!!!
I'ts so true. I've found that by taking a step back,my eldest has developed the most fantastic imagination!!!!
I hope you get your point across to the ex,without any major upset x x x Keep up your good parenting hun,you are right!!! x