Affectionless

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  Natalie_1024 Regular

  Apr 13, 2011 6:29PM

  hiya, as harsh as it sounds i'd try and give her a bit of space, offer to help her when and where you can (if she declines, don't push it), but don't ask her about her feelings. hard i know, you deserve to know why she is treating you this way, it's just the fact that she seems to be trying to push you further away every time you ask her. it may be baby blues, she may just be struggling to cope with the stress of having a new baby. she may be testing your commitment to her to see how far she can push you before you snap and leave. she may genuinely feel like you are nagging her whether you are or are not. many women feel vulnerable after having a baby, her head may be all over the place. don't be a doormat by any means but let her know that you are there for her if she needs you, and hopefully she will come to you.
  
  
  
  every woman is different so it's hard to give a perspective on someone you don't know. i just know that when i got pregnant and gave birth, my head went west and i wasn't always the nicest person i could be and i needed treating with kid gloves. even small comments felt like people getting on my case, everything was out of proportion.
  
  
  
  good luck with everything, hope you get it all sorted. take care xx

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  MrsSP73

  Apr 20, 2011 7:27AM

  Hi SadDad1, sorry to hear this, I think it must be very difficult for dads to understand and easy to feel left out when a new baby arrives. Speaking from personal experience, having a child completely changed my outlook on life, the baby became my everything, there was little room in those first few weeks for anyone else.
  
  
  
  It doesnt last for ever and some balance does return, although things are never quite the same as before - they are better in so many ways. Am sure your partner does still love you, its just that she might not have the room in her head to be as she was with you before the baby was born.
  
  
  
  Try to be patient, give her some space like Deidre says, enjoy the time you have as a new family with a small baby. This bit doesnt last for ever!!
  
  
  
  Good luck!

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  KazzieM

  Apr 20, 2011 7:39AM

  Hi SadDad1, my sympathies to you at a difficult time. How old is your baby now? With my first pregnancy I felt overwhelmed with how much my newborn needed feeding, changing, rocking to sleep, etc... and felt all my time was now dedicated to it. My husband too had concerns that we were growing apart but I still loved him and probably, truth be told, relied on him more than ever.
  
  
  
  Allow the time to adjust to having a new addition around, they grow so fast. As baby gets older and naps last longer you'll hopefully recover some of the time for you and your partner alone as a couple. Best wishes.

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