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how do i tell my 3yr old his daddy has gone to jail?? PLEASE HELP :'(

charliemummycharliemummy
in Relationships
Hi everyone, really need some advice. I split up with baby daddy when LO was 6 months old. Since then my ex has just been going really down hill and causing trouble with everyone and anyone. (he is not a nice person) Anyway, last week he got sent down for 2 years 4 months. I really dont know how to tell my son. I dont want to say he has gone to jail as my son see's jail as somewhere he sends his toys when they have been really naughty! so obviously he will know daddy has been naughty image



What can i say/do?? do i say he has 'moved away' for a bit? i just dont want to upset him. My dad went to prison when me and my sister where very young (my sons age now) and my sister was badly effected by this. She started getting bad OCD, nervous twitches, wouldnt talk to anyone at all...I REALLY dont want my poor boy to go through this! :cry:



Has anyone been through the same kind of thing? What did you say to LO? Advice desperately needed please because he has been asking to go to daddys all day today and i just dont know what to say.



Thank you

Replies

  • iwantanotherplsiwantanotherpls
    hi, i havent gone through this myself but i see it as you have 2 ways. either you can tell him daddy has had to go a way for a while BUT he WILL find out the truth at some point and im sure you dont want to creat trust issues which may or may not happen, OR you can tell him the truth- unfrountaly daddy has made some bad choices (this is what they call things at my daughters school rather than say naiughty ect) and he is living with some people who are going to help him make some good choices but where he is now means we can write to him and send him some pictures/paintung ect so would he like to do daddy a picture??- that way you have given him an answer but distracted him with a nice thing to do for his daddy who he misses??

  • MummyEmsMummyEms
    I think I would go with choice 2 above, at least this way you aren't telling him his daddy is in jail but you are not lying to him either and sending him pictures etc is a lovely idea. Will his dad reply and send him letters back? x
  • mithicalmithical
    I agree with telling him the truth, but in a way that won't tarnish how he feels about his dad. I hope his dad will correspond with him, because then your lo knows he hasn't disappeared for good.



    I think iwantanotherpls has given some really good advice. xx
  • KazzieMKazzieM
    I agree with the general sentiments here that the truth is normally the best route though it isn't always the easiest. As suggested try and make a positive by encouraging your LO to make cards/letters/pictures for daddy to keep him happy by sending his daddy something nice whilst he is away learning how to make better choices.
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