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What to tell 4 year old about Nanna dying

Hi all,

Need some advice. My MIL is dying of cancer and I'm starting to worry about what to tell my 4 year old daughter about it. She has been in regular contact with Nanna during the illness and the last few times she has seen her Nanna has been in her bed and asleep more often that not.

We can't hide her from death forever (I have been cutting bits out of stories until recently - couldn't believe "die" was mentioned in so many fairytales!).



I'm trying to look at some books that I've seen on Amazon but only found one in shop so far.

Badger's Parting Gifts by Susan Varley (didn't like this one)

Always & Forever by Durant & Gliori

Water Bugs & Dragonflies by Doris Stickney

I Miss U by Pat Thomas



Can anyone recommend any of these?



Any advice?

Replies

  • Hi hun,

    My heart goes out to you and your family. My mum was also recently diagnosed with cancer which isn't curable so I understand how you feel. My ds is only just 2 so doesn't understand. I haven't looked at the books but can only suggest decide on how you was to represent his nanna when she's gone. I know some people use stars and I like this idea.



    Most importantly I think with children you have to try to normalize it a little so that they don't become terrified of death and insecure that everyone will jst disappear tomorrow or the next day.

    I say this because as a child I never dealt with death and it really is reflected. In how poorly I am dealing with my mums illness.



    You know your child best. Settle on something age appropriate and explain it in small chunks , let them ask questions , and give plenty of reassurance.



    Lastly enjoy the good days when ever you can. If your mil can't go out perhaps spent some time with lo and her maybe watching a dvd or reading if she's up to it so you can make as many memories as possible.



    Wishing u amd your family all the best at this awful time x x
  • Hi there,



    I'm in a similar situation to blue star (have sent you private message blue star) so understand how difficult this is. The only book that I know is 'badgers parting gifts' as we had that book when I was a child. It is a lovely story but I defy any one to get to the end without tears! I remember my mum getting tearful when reading it to us and we hadn't even had any recent losses in the family to relate it to but it has a positive ending as it shows badger happy as he no longer needs his walking stick and can run.



    All the best to you and your family and let us know if you find a good book. I'm not sure what I will say to my two year old yet but a book might be a good idea. X
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