Old fashioned vs Modern Care
Just to clarify i am not preg yet but we are on our 2nd month of trying.
Anyway during a couple of little chats recently i have found me and my OH disagreeing on certain things that i think are ridiculously straight forward and common sense. Basically he is being really old fashioned and thinks up to date medical care is just a farce and money racket.
He wanted me to stop taking my folic acid tablets as he heard of one case of where a womans baby was born with some sort of problem and it was related to her taking in too much folic acid. After much discussion i convinced him that they are safe and necessary to prevent spinal problems etc. and that the case he read of was a complete one off.
Then he asked would i have a home birth as he would feel better knowing that he could be with me every night i was in labour and have all our family around. This to me is ridiculous, i would never feel safe having a home birth especially after reading about placenta problems that can occur and would feel a lot better being under constant care in a hospital. Not to mention the sterile issues.
He keeps saying - oh well how do you think they used to have babies back in the olden days without all these tablets and hospitals and procedures bla bla bla. I have never noticed him being old fashioned before in any way shape or form so im finding it kind of funny but also very annoying.
I need a way of getting him to understand that back in the 'olden days' they had no choice but now all these hospitals and rules and vitamins etc were made to make things easier and keep people alive basically if god forbid something was to go wrong.
How can i convince him??!!
Replies
I wouldn't worry about it until you are pregnant and then its your choice as you are the patient.
What does he mean 'every night' you are in labour….it tends to only take 1 unless you are really unlucky! And even then he would be in hospital with you - so he'd still be there.
As for having family around - even with a home birth you can only have 2 people plus midwife in the room - so thats out! What about the mess on the bed - birth can be verrrry messy - so is he proposing that you do it on the carpet?!
As for the folic acid thing - thats just rubbish. Take him and ask the pharmacist! Also back in the olden days infant mortality was at a higher rate! Maybe theres a daddy to be book out there - to give him facts rather than letting him google away!
Good luck - but try not to stress. At least yours is showing interest - mine if i actually get there will have to be dragged to hospital kicking and screaming!
Thanks Mumin, i think by 'every night' he meant that if i had to go into hospital at night/ late evening but wasnt in actual labour (ie about to give birth) he would be sent home until the following morning unless i went into labour during the night - hospital policy here in Ireland. Which sucks but what can you do.
And i have explained that birth will be messy etc and there are a lot of risks with home births. And what if god forbid i needed an emergency c-section or had a ruptured placenta or something.
I would get him a book if i thought he would read it but he isnt big on reading stuff so it would be pointless.
I did show him a fact sheet on folic acid and he understood that then. I think he thinks i am just being a drama queen about it all lol. I do like that he is taking a big interest and he has my best interests at heart but its frustrating trying to convince him of these silly things that are complete common sense.
For gods sake im not even preg yet and god knows when i will be lol. Please god sooner rather than later though.