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Finding it hard.

So I have an almost 6mo baby boy who is for the most part, a happy little thing although lately and especially today he's been miserable and hard to please- probably because i'm so tired and tense. We've (well...I) have been weaning him for about the last month and its been going pretty well although he is not a fan of savoury foods! He sleeps through the night but wont settle in his cot until around 1 or 2am (sometimes later!) 

I also have a 5yo son from my previous relationship who is in his second year at school and although has had a few behaviour issues, is a good kid. 

So lately I've been finding things getting pretty hard, feeling overwhelmed and quite frankly, like a single parent. 

My partner is and has been signed off work with an ongoing illness, possibly CFS/ME or Fibromyalgia- hasn't been diagnosed yet. This has been going on for nearly 2 years and because its fatigue related, I find it hard to "deal" with sometimes, especially when i'm exhausted too and have to single handedly deal with two kids. 

Currently he sleeps from about 8/9am until 6/7pm. I get my eldest ready and off to school, then feed/change/entertain the little one all day until I have to go and pick the boy up again. 

In the evening when oh finally wakes up, he may change the odd nappy but it is still me doing pretty much all the work. I'll ask him if he minds doing a feed (last one at night is still just a bottle-nice and easy) so I can have a break and his reply will always be "oh but i'm really aching" *sigh* I hate that hes always aching and in pain, etc. but am i such a bad person for feeling fed up? for needing a break myself? 

Apart from occasionaly taking the rubbish out and washing up a cup/bowl for himself he sits on the sofa and plays his xbox. I dont mind him gaming at all, its something we have in common actually, but i feel like he can drag himself out of bed to turn the xbox on but not for me when i need some help. He doesnt even need to DO anything, just supporting me emotionally would be appreciated. 

I know that im lucky that i have him home all day, he could be away at work all the time, etc. but in some ways I feel like it'd be easier if he was working! atleast then he'd have a reason for not being around. 

Ah i don't know if im even making sense anymore. I've spoken to him about how I feel and he always takes it as an attack on him or me not believing his illness. Im just so drained, I dont know if I can cope with this for much longer. I love him with all of my heart, I really do. I guess I just need a rant? image

Replies

  • So sorry babe it must be really hard for you and I guess he's going thru a hard time aswell. I can't really offer any advice apart from to say I am thinking if u and always here if u need a chat. I understand it must be hard what with his illness. I really hope he's diagnosed soon and maybe something can be done to help his condition to enable him to be the partner and dad you and the kids want and need x

  • Aww poor girl, that would certainly be tiring. I cannot relate to the illness that your partner has, but I can relate to how you feel like a single parent.   I have a 4 and a half month old baby girl and my husband is either working or just plain gone way more then I'd like.

    We had agreed that since I'm on mat leave taking care of our daughter is my 9-5 job and outside of that we were to care for her as a 50/50 partnership ...that isn't even close to what happened.   I do 95% of the feedings and diaper changes.

    When I bring these things up, he also takes it as an attack and little changes.

    I really don't know what can be done about any of these issues, but I thought letting you know that you're not completely alone may help

  • Both of you are having troubled times and I do hope they get better. Have either of you tried counseling? It may help and hearing it from another persons view might make them see and they start helping out more.

  • Hope it helps. Prayers your way. It will get better.

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