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Ranty
Hi. I'm new on here and didn't know where to post, but was looking for some advice or
confirmation of whether what I'm feeling is normal. I have a 10 yo step daughter who I get on well with. My husband and I will be trying for a baby soon. Husband's parents have told us that they are setting up a savings account for my stepdaughter.They then told us that they won't do the same for any children we have as we'll probably do that ourselves but stepdaughter's mother is jobless and no good with money so won't have done it herself. Stepdaughters grandparents on her mum's side are rich. My parents are not. Is it horrible of me to think that their different treatment of any future grandchildren is unfair? Husband hasn't said anything but it's really wound me up as I feel that she will have loads of money from both sets of her grandparents and any children I have will have nothing. It's not about the money - I wouldn't care if all of the children got nothing- it's the inequality that's bothering me. What do you think?
confirmation of whether what I'm feeling is normal. I have a 10 yo step daughter who I get on well with. My husband and I will be trying for a baby soon. Husband's parents have told us that they are setting up a savings account for my stepdaughter.They then told us that they won't do the same for any children we have as we'll probably do that ourselves but stepdaughter's mother is jobless and no good with money so won't have done it herself. Stepdaughters grandparents on her mum's side are rich. My parents are not. Is it horrible of me to think that their different treatment of any future grandchildren is unfair? Husband hasn't said anything but it's really wound me up as I feel that she will have loads of money from both sets of her grandparents and any children I have will have nothing. It's not about the money - I wouldn't care if all of the children got nothing- it's the inequality that's bothering me. What do you think?
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Replies
I think it's likely to be different once they have another grandchild and they know them etc. tbh I really wouldn't let it bother me yet. Also some older generations may see children bought up in single parent families (even if both parents parenting) differently, and maybe are trying to 'compensate' in other ways but would love the children equally?
I would be upset. I was brought up with my parents being very careful to treat us three children equally and I think it's very important. As Rio says, hopefully it will change.
Do they have any other grandchildren? It may change. I agree its a bit rubbish though. Regardless of the child's mother or her parents, they should treat all grandchildren equally. They may think they are doing a nice thing and if they have no other grandchildren they wont have thought it through.
I can see it from the grandparents point of view. My parents have paid into a savings account for both my nieces (they are both of an age where they got the g0vernment bond child savings thing so they paid into that). They were worried that nieces father wouldn't be reliable with money and they would need a bit of back up later in life and they have unfortunately been proved right. They have not done the same for disco but that's fine by me as we don't need it right now. However I do know should we ever need help they will provide it.
The savings account is just a practical move all the grand children are loved and treated equally in every other respect.
However if there was clear favouritism of one grandchild over another then I would be very upset.