Sex after motherhood
I have been with my partner (33) for 4 years, he is 8 years older then me, but it was love at first sight. 2 years into the relationship I fell pregnant and 9 months later our beautiful son was born. Life is amazing, well mum life is amazing... But, I have a confession.... I honestly think I am loosing interest in my partner... Is it normal for your sex life to honestly non exsist after children ??? Well if so , thats mine. The first year after having my son, we had sex 4 times in 12 months...wtf@#$% Gosh I haven't even told my closest girlfriends this,, honestly is he just not into it... Like what the hell is wrong with me? Is he seeying someelse ? Is it because i put on weight ? These are the insecure thoughts that go through my head...The last 12 months have been the same... Gosh i memorize about how our sex life used to be before children and believe me it was wild.. I am the instigater, every chance I get I try and seduce him...but I just get the cold shoulder... He's not it to foreplay,,, like what male isn't?? I have struggled with this for so long, I really just need to let it out... Oh and that's another thing, I regularly catch him watching the ocassional COUGAR porn on his phone...now that's a kick in the gut , does he want to be with an older woman?.... I feel myself becoming more and more in happy, but I guess we all have to put on that smile and pretend everything's OK.. He doesn't like to have those one on one grown up talks about life and relationships, communication is definitely a thumbs down... Mums out there I need some advice and help. I do still love this man, but how long is to long before i choose to walk away..
Replies
I have two kids with my hubby ones 5 and one is 12 months the last time we had sex was when the youngest was conceived! CYM hubb also watches porn and has made snide comments re my looks!
he should find you beautiful however you look. love is not all about Netflix and chill if you know what i mean - trust me i know! i have 1 child and sex is not on the agenda as regular as before. if he thinks he can treat you this way then he is wrong! remember to try not to pounce on him too soon. if you feel like hes ignoring you, have it out with him but make sure the children are not present. or else, organise a special weekend break for the to of you - maybe turn off phones to "relax" and unwind a bit. but make sure there is a hot tub or sauna. most men watch porn however if you feel this is happening too regularly, maybe speak to your husbands friends to see if he has opened up to them about anything. maybe he is experiencing a bit of depression? you never know, you may be back to normal soon.
good luck girl all the best.xxx
Hi girls,
im 7 months pregnant with our 2nd baby.
Our little girl is 18 months. we have always had a very active sex life and even through my first pregnancy sex was still at least once a week. However,
this time round I just have absoutley no sex drive. My hubby is very understanding but I feel tremendously guilty.
i just wondered has anyone else felt like this and does your sex drive return after baby is born.
thankyou in advance
Hi I had a problem like this with my partner a few years ago he just totally lost interest in having sex. I felt like there was something wrong with me I couldn't understand why he didn't want me. I thought he mite of been cheating (he wasn't thank god) I use to try everything be waiting for him in bed naked, randomly start blow jobs whilst he was watching tv, sexy outfits You name it I tried it but it didnt really work and being reject like that hurt me a lot i was putting myself out there so much for him doing the things most men dream about happening and nothing it went on like that for a few months. So it turned out he was really hung up on my past like before I met him I was seeing a well a wanker and he happened to be freinds with this wanker and at the time this was happening he was spending a lot of time with this wanker and it started to get to him the thought of us being together before I met him so he closed him self off to me we ended up having a massive argument over it and we almost ended things but him finally venting over it and us really communicating about it we stayed together and or sex life is healthy now we still have our moments where I'm not interested or he isn't interested but it doesn't last to long
so my advice would be to put everything out on the table really communicate with each other on how your feeling
i hope everything works out for you xoxo
I think you just to spend time with each other, why not have a date night or have a short vacation. You can leave your kids to your parents or in laws. some one advised me that intimacy is important in a marriage, maybe both of you are just too busy but make sure that the intimacy is always there.
After motherhood, the most common for us to think is we are not that lovely anymore but we should not think negatively. Instead,do something positive for yourself and have time for your partner. Caring is very important and so with intimacy. Communication and the usual things you do both before must be continued.