Friend not supportive
I have a friend that I'm having difficulties dealing with. My husband and I got married recently and the plan was to start trying for a baby pretty much straight after the wedding as we've been together for quite some time but I've been at uni for ages and it just hasn't been right. However, two women in our circle of friends announced (well 1 announced and people guessed with the second) that they're pregnant.
My friend has been really snarky about them and whenever anything pregnancy related comes up, she makes some comment about how ooh, you don't want to have kids yet, you've only just finished uni, you want to live your life a bit, enjoy being free, blah blah blah. I brushed it off at first, but she keeps making these sorts of comments and it's getting to the point where I'm really annoyed. I'm now dreading the thought of ever telling her that I am actually pregnant cuz I don't think she'll be excited at all.
The thing is, she makes comments about how some of her other friends have had kids and she feels left out of that circle of friends because of it, but I actually feel like she's pushing me away by acting like this. I also think there might be a jealousy factor, as she's still single after having had a really bad breakup a several years ago.
I want to be a supportive friend but I'm worried this may break our relationship when it eventually happens.
Replies
So I don't know how old u ladies are I'm 26 I had my first at 22 second at 25 and I'm pregnant with my 3rd let me just start off by saying I lost all my friends at 22 from falling pregnant they were either just getting married or having kids of their own. When u get older u start to realise who is actually important in ur life who uses u for a emotional need being lonely or whatever. I think uve hit the nail on the head jealous worried and lonely. U need to tell her u want a baby no matter what she thinks it sounds harsh but if she doesn't want to loss u as a friend she needs to understand u want to start a family and are ready for the sleepless nights, the sick and poo and the cry, along with the tears of joy and the tons of happiness a child brings. I know in my area there are hundreds of groups for new mums so if she can't accept leave the door open and go make new mummy friends. You already have a few friends pregnant so u won't be alone.i know I needed new friends and have quite a few friends now where my boys go to socialise with other little people. Losing one friend and gaining a baby I know what I'd choose lol. Best of luck starting ur family I hope it happens soon for u and honestly don't worry about her u have her sussed just be honest with her