I need a baby
Hi, I'm new to all this so be patient!
So me and my fiancé have been together 3 years now. He has 2 children from a previous relationship, a boy aged 4 and a girl 6. I had the privilege of meeting them when they were 1 and 3 years old. They are great kids and I love them with all my heart. We have shared custody of the Children. One week we have them 5 nights then the week after 2 nights. Weve just recently moved into our new home and we all love it. The kids are settled and the house is looking fab, what more do I want??
A baby of my own. I've longed for one of my own so bad and it's recently been getting me down. Now since we got shared custody of the kids I've changed my life around for them, changed my hours at work, stopped meeting friends, I'm 23 and I'd rather stay in cuddled up to my 2 babies watching Disney movies than go out to any pubs or clubs. My fiance works away a lot so most of the time is me and the his kids. Me doing the school run, dropping them off at clubs, taking them to their doctors appointments, homework, bath time, bedtime, dealing with their tantrums and listening to the eldest tell me all the things she's done at her biological mummy's. Smiling on the outside (crying on the inside).
We'd not been trying to get pregnant but we did a test a few month ago and It came back negative. I was heartbroken and my other half said he was upset that i wasn't pregnant too (so him saying that made me believe he wanted this just as much as me right).
Now we're all settled in our new house I brought the subject up and told him I wanted a baby. He said that the time for him wasn't right and that he wanted to make sure his children got the Christmas they deserved. Call me selfish but his kids get everything they could possible want from me! He said he wanted it to be perfect for them (it's been perfect the past 3 Christmas). I don't know if it's me being selfish for once or him been an arse and not realising how much I do for him and his kids. It's at the point where every when I take my pill I could cry buckets!
His 2 kids weren't planned but I've always said I meet someone, nice house, then have a child. I have a good job and so does he, he's using the excuse of not being able to afford a baby but we can afford his children. it's getting to the point of me not wanting to interact with his children and doing all the mummy things with them because I want to experiance it with my own baby.
My arms actually ache.
Any advise people?
Replies
Hi Fallenforthem,
My heart could break for you right now. I can't even imagine how you feel doing this day in and day out. Me personally I agree that your OH is being incredibly selfish how he is going on about 'the Christmas they deserve'! Erm HELLO!! Does he not think you deserve the best in life too? It sounds you go above and beyond for his children which is lovely, but he needs to remember that not every woman would do that. You are a very special lady.
I think you need to ask him for a serious conversation and let him know how badly this is getting you down. Explain all the things you do for them all and how you want nothing more than to be a 'real' mummy. It's only fair that he hears you out. You don't want to find yourself at the point where you stop taking your pill in secret as I don't believe that is fair either.
Good luck and keep your chin up, you are doing amazing with what you have. And remember, don't let the kiddies suffer at you and your partners expense. They are lucky to have 2 mummies! x
Your OH is being a bit silly. If you aren't pregnant & about to drop then Christmas for his children is hardly going to be ruined. What's to say his son & daughter don't want you to have a baby too, it's possible they would be thrilled to hear the happy news.