Blended family issues
hello i have never done this before but I am thinking outside advice might help.. my husband and I have 5 children together , my 3, his one then our babe... and although our family unit is chaos and full it works , we are all happy. Have been for 5 years now.
But... I have over the years struggled with my step son, my husband struggles with him and I even think his own mum struggles with him. He's 6 but talks and behaves more like a 3/4 year old, he lies without thinking and can be sneaky and mean.. don't get me wrong I'm my children's biggest critic and I know no child is perfect but his behaviour can eat me up due to the fact my husband and his family have put him on a pedestal and he's been treated differently. my husband corrects my 3 childre,one of which is a year older than his son much much more than him..when we go to his family in the past we will walk in as a family unit and they will go past my children to say hello and make a fuss of my step son and my children will actually step backwards. I fear this caused resentment in me at times. Along side his behaviour it's been hard.
I have been very honest with my husband and he does listen and try to change if he feels I have a point, but these things are always a work in progres.
but that's not what I'm upset about... the fact his family would treat my children differently was their choice and I felt I can not force my children on them. But they also do the same now to our baby.. he's two and I think they have not spent no more than an hour and half with him over the course of maybe 8 "call in" visits in the last year.. from the age of 5/6 months his nan has not held him in her arms.. they drop his presents off on the door step and he stands shouting thank u, being so grateful and they run back to the car!
I feel that I have done wrong in their eyes struggling to be a step mum that's why they don't come to see us any more or try to be grandparents.
it hurts becaside they were not excluding my children because were not biologicallily thiers it must of been because of me.. as they are doing the same to our 2 year old... and I can't help to feel responsible, my poor kids..
to top it off they see visit babysit and have sleepovers with their other grandchildren and they closest to us . 5 mins up the road!
