Feeling like I have nobody but surrounded by people!

Hi, this is my first post so sorry if I ramble! Firstly I had my first lo in 2014 now 2yr old and had no issues after birth, I had my 2nd last year now 9 month and have never felt 100% since then. It all started when he was about 3 weeks old and my oh's parents had a huge falling out with each other, to cut a long story short they bought arguments to our door as his dad was staying with us. Police were involved the lot!! I was never brought up in this environment so find it really difficult to deal with.

Since then I have not been able to let this go. I had to have an elective section (health reasons) and at 3 weeks post birth I was having to bath, bedtime etc both kids on my own as my oh had to keep sorting out his parents arguments! Recently I have became really angry about the whole situation again and take it out on oh. I feel like he doesn't listen to me and he said I should just forgot about it as it is now in the past (they are back together and nobody mentions what happened nor were any apologies given out). I am also due back at work in a few months and not sure if that is adding to my stress/worry. To be honest I really don't know how I feel or why I feel like this. I tend to find myself getting angry with my oh then crying a lot. I am so fed up of feeling like this and just want to start enjoying life again as I feel like I have just lost interest in doing anything and tend to stay him a lot, which doesn't help, and then I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough with my kids. I feel I can't turn to friends and family as I seem to get the same answer that my kids, oh and I are healthy so not to stress about it but that's not helping me so now just tend to bottle everything up. Sorry for the rant! Just looking for reassurance that I'm not going mad!

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  • Avmaco. 

    Have you sought any professional opinions? There's nothing at all to apologise for, or do feel ashamed of.

    it sounds to me like you were unable to enjoy the first few months with your little one due to all the drama and now that it's over and done with you still hold resentment to those involved. And rightly so. 

    I think you should have a confident talk with your gp if you can xx

  • Thanks for you reply Lro, no I haven't but have thought about it, I really do resent them and as a result of everything that happened they are not allowed to have kids on their own (my choice) which I then feel guilty for. 

    I have never been one for talking and always find a reason to put off speaking to someone but I know it's time to bite the bullet as I can't keep getting angry with oh and I certainly don't want my kids to think I am sad all the time :( xx

  • its always good to vent and not keep everything pent up inside. At least you know there's nobody to judge you here. I think it makes sense to not allow them to have your children alone. You're their mother and  in laws need to prove themselves to you in the meantime xx

  • I found going from 1 to 2 really hard. And it sounds like you had a hard start. I'd suggest talking to someone as I never did and really wish I had xx

  • Couldnt read and run! 

    A new baby and a child becoming a sibling for the first time is so important and to have that overshadowed by arguments and drama is so sad and im sorry your family had to go through that. But well done for carrying on as normal for lo and baby as its easier said than done. Maybe have a word with your GP as they can give their opinion. I would feel totally the same way though, your allowed to feel how you do. Even if everyone else wants to brush it under the carpet . sending love x

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