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Feeling Confused

There is a guy who I have started to have feelings for again. He is a ex and we were together for almost 5 years fast forward about 5 years and we have been talking to each other again. A few things have changed in the years that have passed, I have left a abusive relationship but have a 1 year old, he has been diagnosed with bipolar and does pot. 

I like him and I thought he liked me again so I was interested in giving us another chance but he been very different since we hung out a few weeks ago (things happened) and he has gone from talking virtually non stop to hardly messaging.

I have asked about it and he said he is confused about everything and doesn't know what he wants. 

So I guess I want to know what to do or say next as I have told him that I would like to give us another chance if that's what he wants but am also ok with just been friends. 

Sorry if I don't make any sense. 


  • Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

  • hi, i just read your post, and couldn't not reply. 

    I've had experience with a manic depressive who's also into pot (far too much pot - i think the depression and pot kind of go hand in hand).

    If i'm really honest with you, i would say avoid, avoid, avoid. Don't fall in love, not until he's clean of pot and on medication to help his bipolar - i don't want to generalise all bipolar sufferers, but those with bipolar AND addiction to pot, well, they can't be relied upon. And you have a 1 year old too - i just think you can probably do better lovely, and I hope you don't take offence to this. x

  • Thank you for your reply, I think I will just stick to been friends so it doesn't get so complicated as I think he is still confused so I am just going to say I am happy been friends that way he doesn't have to give anything up but we can still be friends. Thank you for your advice. 

  • Hey Countrychick. I can relate quite alot to your situation. Mine being...

    I am bipolar and my OH smokes (IMO) too much pot. We are both 30 and met when we were 18. We were together almost 4 years then split. We remained friends for the most part and eventually found myself needing somewhere to live urgently and he took me in. We were living together for 3 years before finally getting back together because "he didn't know what he wanted" I made the decision early on to accept just being friends (with benefits sometimes because, you know, it happens).

    It wasn't until I met someone else that he decided he wanted to be with me after all. We talked it through fully to make sure it was going to be long term and I wouldn't be breaking up with someone for nothing.

    I always believed that if it was meant to be it will happen when it's supposed to. Accepting the possibility that it won't and I may meet my "Mr. Right" elsewhere meant I could be happy and stress free until it fell into place. Having a little one makes it all the more important for you to try to do the same so I think you have made a great decision to.

    I have to disagree that any mental health issue and any any addiction goes hand in hand. I know lots of people with neither addiction nor mental health issues, people with both and people with 1 or the other. They are separate diseases that can be helped but only if the person chooses to seek and accept the help. You can't push someone to do it, only support them. I would only advise you to avoid getting back with him if he refuses to get help for either and instead chooses to wallow in his own sadness. My OH won't quit smoking at the moment and he can be an utter arse BUT he truly is my beat friend, the only one to understand and support me and never let's me down regardless. I return the favour and get help with my bipolar.

    Sorry for the long post but I really hope it helps. Much love to you and your little one.

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