Lonely

Hello. Sorry for the long post. I have an 11 month old boy. Married for almost 2 years. 2 and a half years ago i lost my nan she died from a fall. She was my mother. I did have 2 sisters but the relationships broke down after nan died. Me and my sisters both have same mum but they have same father and mine is different. I am the eldest. We were close in the past, but i was brought up by my grandparents and stayed most weekends. My mum and their father were heroin, cocain and alcoholics. My mum died at 39 of an overdose. My sisters were 13, 15 and i was 18. Their father never liked me, me and my mother had a very strained relationship. I worked hard but in my spare time i drank my way through my 20's to block everything. I met my now husband when i was 28, stopped drinking, smoking and started taking more care of myself. Then my nan fell and died 8 months into my relationship. It hit me hard. I got engaged. I asked my closest sister to be bridesmaid. When my nan died my youngest sister changed towards me, almost glad i didnt have my nan anymore. Started writing things on facebook that im an abuser. Telling people im a horrible person. I eventually blocked her. She didnt come to my wedding. I got pregnant just before my wedding, i told the middle sister. I felt it was hostile. I could tell i wasnt wanted. I was there for them through their 4 pregnancies. They were not there for me. Since then the youngest has carried on writing things about me on fb, trying to stalk me on social media. I closed everything down. I have stayed silent throughout it all. My husband has said i need to get on with my life and forget about them. I care for my grandfather who they have said im abusing. I cannot get over how when i lost my nan i lost my sisters and some old friends because i fell in love. I feel so alone at times. Incredibly lonley inside. I have No family. Has anyone been through this or have any advice? Thanks a lot