I just want to run. Far far away.
This may sound ridiculous because I know how lucky I am to have 4 healthy lo aged 7, 5, 3, 2. My boys are everything to me. My oh of 6 years and I work full time so time is a daily challenge. My mil and oh two nieces also live with us so as you can imaginevwe have a busy household.
Due to a complicated family setup the girls have grown up very moneyminded which is difficult when you are supporting 9 people and a new job. I worry all the time that my oh and mil are too strict on my 2 older boys and its taking its toll.
The two youngest get away with murder. But at the same time I'm being suffocated. I can't get away. I'm the one everyone looks to for answers to problems yet my opinions on things that matter (like my kids) are litteraly ignored.I get left to deal with everything no one else can be bothered with. My oh just goes to work and let's me worry about school runs, bills, food, the girls and 2 youngest.
My mil must think im her personal assistant because she has me run ragged. I just want to scream and run away. I litteraly don't know how long I can cope before I explode.
My whole life seems to work from the phrase 'if it can go wrong it will' Talking has done me no favors apart from arguments and my obvious resentment of my oh. Am I selfish? Should I shut up and lie in the bed I've made for myself? I just want to cry. I have absolutely no friends and no life outside of this.
Replies
first of all you are amazing! you have four kids and work full time, so does your husband AND you have a mil staying with you! Please don't feel alone, I have a child, a beautiful nine week old baby, my partner finished working to be a dad, im on mat leave and I'm struggling terribly, with my relationship, thoughts, I too could run away even though I'm happy! I don't think my partner loves me it's hard to give advice but easy to be in the same boat as you, hopefully you don't feel as alone x
All I can suggest is putting all the children to bed & having the 3 of you sit down & talk things through. You are all living within the household therefore it is only fair that each of you should contribute towards running it - shared responsibility for the bills, shared responsibility for the childcare, shared responsibility for the chores...
If you still aren't happy after you have sat down & spoken to them then your only other option is to consider walking away to make yourself happy which can be easier said than done but if you are a strong woman you can achieve it. You would need to approach an organisation such as Citizens Advice Bureau or Womans Refuge to discuss your home life & the options available to you should you pack & leave, they will then advise you on the best way to go about it.
In my eyes, you are a true superwoman. Having so many kids, mother in law, nieces, husband, full time work. WOW. How do you cope with all of that? Of course you feel like running away. Who wouldn´t? I would. Try to talk to everyone, try to make them see how hard it is for you. At least you should be able to have a weekend for yourself, far away from everybody. Otherwise you will burn out soon and your health could come into jeopardy.