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Gaining a son but losing my family

Sorry in advance for rant! I feel like I cant speak to anyone about my relationship, including my partner, I've never felt so alone even though I now have a beautiful son, we never argued much during my pregnancy but when we did, we did, he works away and came home one day to a messy kitchen, i was pregnant and working he started messaging me saying I was out of order etc he upset me to the point I wanted to go to my mums he called me a spoilt child who runs to their parent, he is seven years older than me and I feel he plays on this. I used to find it incredibly attractive in him that he is assertive, I felt protected and looked after the same life which I'd always had from my parents but quickly cracks started to show, the first argument we ever had was when he called me fat in front of friends, then when I saw red i threw a glass which is disgusting behaviour I know but I was so hurt, he lost it I was the bad one, the argument we had after that was when I did end the relationship he went to another city for a whole day and never answered his phone to me, he admitted he had been in the strippers and had a dance I felt so degraded that he couldn't pick up the phone to someone who he loved and oggled other women all day, he is rude about my family at times, he is a fantastic dad, but recently he has became a totally different  person, I referred to his cousin as "that wee" and then her name which is a normal scottish phrase and he was calling me rude, telling me not to refer to his family like that, though when his cousin, who is of adult age, was referring to my son as "it" he never batted an eye lid, things I used to find attractive about him are no longer there, hard working(he stopped to be a dad) communicative, respectful, all gone, hes became lazy rude and I don't know if I'm scared to admit but possibly controlling, I think I want to leave but really I want him how he was, that man I was once in love with it breaks my heart, if I tell him any of this he says he thinks I'm one of those women who uses kids as weapons, and threatening to split up our family, when that is the last thing i would ever want!!! he left the house with my son a few hours ago without saying a word to me I have never been apart from him like this so it's a big deal, he has crossed a line now I just don't know what to do thanks for reading any advice is appreciated X

Replies

  • Anyone who calls you fat in front of friends doesn´t love you. Period. Nothing else can be said more. I am sure he is great dad and all that, but he doesn´t have to be a great partner too. His going to strippers just made him look worse in my eyes. What you need to do is to leave him. Find yourself someone who will appreciate you and not insult in front of everybody. You should respect yourself more.

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