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Unhappy and unappreciated

Hi all...

ive been in a relationship with my partner almost 4 years, we had our daughter who was planned in September last year after being together for 3 years, it's been amazing and I can honestly say having my daughter was the best thing I ever did, however it's also been tough on our relationship, money has been tight and my partner has been working very hard to keep money coming in so i understand he's stressed and tired, but I just feel like nothing I ever do is good enough, I've breastfed my daughter from day one so he's never had to do night feeds, and she didn't start sleeping though until 9 months so I've found it hard, I think he thinks that because he works he's more tired, he comes home from work and the house is a mess and he makes out I just sit and play and take photos all day, my daughter is at the stage where she's trying to walk so it's hard to get things done and she comes first before house work, when I have time I clean but it's not top of my priority list Keeping my daughter happy is more important, Well anyway there's been a couple of occasions I've stayed with family because we've just not been getting on and both felt unappreciated for different reasons, he can be very negative and mardy and it gets me down, I'm quite laid back and positive as a person, I've put everything down to tiredness, money stress and needimg a holiday and family time, we are now on holiday for 2 weeks, I've got up with my daughter every day in the last week apart from 1 day while he's stayed in bed and I've fed her changed her dressed her done the pots ect, and last night he had a few drinks and started saying how I'm lazy and don't tidy or clean or do anything. I defended myself but he just disagreed. I'm honesly getting to the point where I'm wondering why I'm in this relationship. Am I being silly? How long do i fight for this relationship for? Sorry for the long post.


  • I think he needs to be having more input, he probably feels pushed out that you are doing everything for your child and doesn't realise how hard it is for you.  Take it he is a first time dad too? 

    Is there a way you can try and talk to him and ask him to take a more hands on role with your child. Not when he has been drinking obviously. 

    Only you know if that approach would work but if you are unhappy  then you either need a sit down heart to heart, without it getting into an argument or you need to work out whether in the long run it is what you want. 

    Do you have support from anyone else close by? Family and friends? 

    I hope you can both come to an arrangement that suits you both and improves the relationship, but if you don't and you feel like you have to walk away then do whatever is best for you and your child...she needs happy parents, be that together or apart.

  • I totally agree that the girl needs happy parents. Together or apart.

    Do you talk with your husband about it? Maybe he will understand you better if he could do a part of your chores, even simply playing with a baby and taking photos, as he says?

    Also, maybe you need more rest. I understand that it might not be money for babysitting, yet you can ask friends and relatives. For me it always worked - they were coming, cheering me up, and I was becoming more refreshed and happy. Your husband will feel your happiness too!

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