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Violent partner

I don't know what to do and have no one to turn too. My partner and I have been told we need ivf.  We've been together 4 years. But I think it' a bad idea as he's getting very abusive. I left my rented home to move into a house together and since this it' like it's not my home. He throws in my face how u don't earn enough and he supports me and my son. I work so hard to pay our agreed payment  (half the rent) and my own billls yet he makes out I pay nothing and tgat doesn' count. He bought me a car for my birthday so I sold mine but now it's used against me and if we argue it' HIS car as he paid for it even though it' in my name. Anyway tonight he said if we but a house I won't be on the mortgage to which I said what's the point in this relationship if that' the case. Why woukd  I live in a house pay money into it but not be on mortgage. He clearly doesn't trust me. He the  accused me of being a money grabbing whore and pushed me around throwing me across room and grabbing me the neck. Hes ok with me having his baby and putting myself through hell to so that but all he cares about is money and being a control freak. He  now taken my car keys and told me it' over . I have nothing or no one to turn too. I never ask for anything and I never borrow money off him or ask him to pay for anything yet his "nice gestures" are thrown in my face and used against me. I don't feel like it' my home or car and he insults my job and the fact my old house was small. He just belittles me all the time. I feel so worthless 


  • I didn't wanna read n run but i think you may need time apart cant you take your son somewhere to visit family or something just for a few days you both sound like TTC has taken a lot out of your relationship n u need time to miss each other n remember what's important 

  • this is a bad situation and one which I fear could escalate Susie. He has physically assaulted you and made attempts to limit your freedoms by controlling your use of the car. This could become a dangerous situation and I really feel you need to remove yourself from it both for your sake and that of your sons. 

    as Lillian suggested, I would leave the house as soon as possible and go stay with family or friends until things have calmed down and you can figure out your next steps. If you have no family or friends locally then seek out a women’s shelter... there are many of them & they Will house and support you and your child at no cost to you until you have a safe plan to move forward. If you need numbers for your local shelter then you can search online or call  child services or the police and they will be able to tell you.

  • Thank u ladies for ur kind advice xxx and for responding 

  • Hi Susie, we are so sorry to read your post and hear about your situation. We hope you get lots of support here but we'd also like to point you towards some real-life, practical support: you can call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline (it's free) on 0808 2000 247 and you can find advice from Women's Aid ( and Rights of Women (
    You are not worthless, and we don't want you to feel that way.
    Really hope things improve for you very soon.

  • Susie get out of there hun! He sounds bullying and controlling and is using  these "gifts" to make you feel reliant on him. I know you would love baby number 2 but I think sadly you shouldn't go down this route now. Please take your son somewhere safe for you both away from him, don't contact him whilst you have a break and clear your head .

    You most definitely aren't worthless - but his behaviour makes you feel like that because that is what he wants. He wants to isolate you, drag you down so you depend on him - be strong and take back control of your own life

     It is difficult but you can do it!

  • Hi Susiegirlygirl, we hope you're alright?

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