Forum home Family life & relationships Relationships

Should I stay or leave? Husband doesn't treat step-son like his own

I always seem to be have the same talk with my husband about how he treats my son. My son is not his but I've been with my husband for 6 years and my son is 9. My husband treats him like an adult more than a child he's not allowed to do anything he wants and is in trouble for every tiny little thing my son gets depressed I also have a daughter 4 who is my husband and she get everything she wants . I'm not allowed to spend money or get anything for my son without permission but my husband can buy anything he wants.i want to move back near my mum but he won't please help 

Replies

  • If he’s making your son feel like that I would leave 

    my mum had a partner who didn’t like me and once he grounded me for getting a crumb on the carpet 🙄 it’s not healthy for his emotional health you deserve someone who treats all your kids the same xx

  • The hard thing is is how do I leave I have no money as I'm not allowed any 

    I'm not happy with him at all but I just don't know what to do 

  • Council would house you 

    or maybe go stay with a friend or family member he can’t treat you like this it’s emotional abuse there’s lots of help online xxx

  • Hi Cheesecake101, we just spotted this other thread, which is by a member who seems to be in a similar situation to you....you can read about it here

  • Hello,

    I started a new thread without seeing yours - wow, we are living the same life!

    So my husband (7 years) seems to pick on every tiny thing my daughter does wrong, she's also 9.  His two kids are now 17+18, more grown up and don't live with us although his son used to.

    We often have to sit in a separate room because he gets in moods, and makes it clear he'd rather be on his own.  We haven't long returned from holiday, just the 3 of us and spend two days not speaking because he refused to talk to my daughter "because she ignored him when he told her to get out of the pool".  I actually thought he was joking, but he didn't speak to her or acknowledge her for two days after, which left me in tears.

    I share 50/50 custody with her father, so she's not with us 100% of the time.  Naturally I miss her and I'm very happy for the time we're together.  But because of my husbands clear hatred for her, we usually spend our time on our own which means I don't see my husband.  Living 2 separate lives to be honest.

    I can go weeks without speaking to him, after an argument.  And the more it happens, the more I'm beginning to despise him.

    Would appreciate any advice from anyone. 

  • Amy you can not live like that it’s not fair on you and your daughter xx

  • It is very hard I often have to go up to my room to get away were due to go on holiday next month and it will be hard my son won't be able to do anything he wants luckily I will also be going with my mum so that will help my son doesn't see his real dad hasn't since he was born so my husband is the only dad he knows it's so hard for him what I'm worried about is that he will end up hating his sister and me 

  • As has been mentioned above, this is essentially emotional abuse to both you & step child.

    You can either visit your GP & ask for help/support or you can seek out your nearest women's aid who will assist you with leaving & setting up elsewhere. 

    The issue you face here is that only 'Dad' can change his behaviour, you can't make him change, he has to decide whether he is out of line & how he can do better. Some men will step up when the matter is addressed but there are equally as many who won't see anything wrong with their behaviour & it will get worse once you challenge it.

    Nobody can decide for you whether you should stay or leave, you will know what is best in your heart. Good luck to you both, it is a difficult crossroads you stand at, never feel that you have to stay  (there is always a way out if you want to take it) stay because it is what makes you happier (not because of fear). X

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions