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Should inlaws pay for holiday

My mother inlaw's 60th birthday is coming up and she has been wanting to book a holiday to celebrate her 60th birthday with the family .  I haven't had the best relationship with my inlaws since the birth of my son 15 months ago ( we used to get along much better before ) . My MIL is very possessive of my son and calls herself mummy, doesn't like other people holding him ( myself and husband inc) so I only visit them once a week with husband and son . My father in law is also a very difficult man , he tells me off often but I am used to this . When my husband asked me if I'd go on holiday with his family , I initially said no as a previous holidays have ended in rows between my father in law and mother in law . They dont really get along and spend most of their time getting at each other . My MIL acts almost as a carer to my FIL now which causes a lot of tension and i think is the reason why she is so obsessed with my son . She has been very unhappy with him and since her children moved out. They are very wealthy and my father in law still runs a very successful company. We have never asked them to help us with anything as we are financially ok  and wouldn't want to feel indebted to them. My husband and myself don't like confrontation so never complain about anything with them.

I felt bad for my husband as he kept saying this will be the last family holiday my mum gets to go on with all her family , sometimes you have to do things for other people etc so i agreed to a holiday . Initially they thought of booking a holiday to Scotland but i knew my motherinlaw did not want this so I suggested we go somewhere she wants so now they have booked a holiday to Jamaica for £10,000 . I assumed they would pay for this as it is the holiday they want to book and my MIL had said previously that they would pay for it . Now they want us to pay our share of the 'holiday' with them which comes to £4000. We are able to afford this but it would mean decreasing the budget for our own holiday and we are looking to move house this year and would NEVER agree to go on a holiday with them that we both wouldn't enjoy . My FIL treats my husband like a servant , he is never interested in him but always has a list of things for him to do . On my husbands part he never complains , drives them everywhere , pays the wages in his company ( there 200 plus ppl to pay so it takes him a while) and helps his dad get contracts in . His father cant use a computer so he also responds to all his emails etc . My husband runs his own company himself but makes time for this and never charges him a penny. I feel that getting us to pay for this holiday is very unfair as we would not have booked it if wed known wed have to pay for it . I would dread going with him even if they were not paying but now we are facing paying for a holiday we wont enjoy and infact will be on edge with them on . I want to say to them that we cant afford it but my husband feels that we cant do that now as they have already paid . This type of money is very small change to my inlaws ... I don't expect them to pay for anything for us but this holiday is for them not us . What should I do ?


  • This sounds like an absolute nightmare waiting to happen!!! Don't go! And your well-off inlaws want you to pay 4k for the priviledge of what sounds like hell ????

    They totally moved the goalposts when they asked for your contribution of the money, especially not checking first with you - to just go and pay for it, then ask for the money is insane. They surely can back out of it, losing a small deposit? 

    I would honestly say to them, you're so sorry, you can't afford it as it would mean you can't afford the family holiday you'd like to have this year, and they really should have checked with you first.  Really sorry. You and your husband have to be strong and refuse - i'm with you on this one and really think it's time for your husband to stand up to his parents. 

  • Hi Jessica, I was just wondering what did you end up doing? Hope it was all ok in the end. 

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