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Help with my stepkids and husbands ex-wife

Please help me! My partner has two kids who to begin with I got on really well. They use to stay every other weekend and it was ok. However over time the more they settled in the more they have become spoilt, ungrateful brats.
The 10 year old cries when she doesn’t get her own way to the point of crying and screaming because we wouldn’t let her upgrade her drink at macdonalds. I am being told I am selfish as they now don’t stay (the ex wife decision as she wants to punish the kids for bad behaviour) however this is putting such a strain on our relationship.

I have a 3 year old and we also have a 9minth old together. His kids live 2 hours away and be doesn’t drive so it costs him £50 just on trains every other weekend before food and stuff. They aren’t happy to go to the park and get food so it can cost him anything upto £150 a weekend seeing them. We can’t afford it not with our two boys.

Now the ex wife is kicking off because we haven’t taken the girls to Butlins this time with ha or when we go abroad next year. Firstly my family are paying so that we can have a holiday, secondly the youngest has hydrocephalus so we wouldn’t want the risk of going abroad and her having to spend the whole time in hospital it would ruin it for everyone. I can’t expect my parents to give us extra money for his girls either.

We work bloody hard and why should the boys kiss out and not have a holiday as we can’t affods to take all the kids with us. The mum has just as much responsibility if not more to take them away. th eldest daughter wants to go to this camp but would need a adult as she is the only girl. The mum doesn’t work and wants to go out the weekend so she won’t, and she is now kicking if as my partner said he can’t ask he can’t afford to take 3 days of work unpaid as he has used his holiday for Butlins last week. And henwoukd otherwise miss our sons first father’s day.

The wife has kicked off because he had a joint tatttoo with me as a Valentine’s Day present from me to him, yet not had the youngest daughters name done or because he won’t send her extra money except the csa each month. I never expect my eldest dad to pay more than his csa each month as he has to live too.

If my partners kids were grateful and well behaved I would consider trying to work more and encourage them to come and stay more but atm I just can’t shift my hatred towards them:

My partner had a few months of work due to illness and I was the one Paying our of my wages their CSA aswell as his travel to see them. I have done my best. Now the ex wife is demanding he ha to take the girls away on holiday somewhere. But he is crap at saying no to them ans it will bankrupt us. please mummy’s can anyone help. Anyone been in my situation feeling so much hated and stress
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