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Family dispute

Hi I'm a first time mum my daughter is 2 months old. I've never posted on a chat room before but I'm just looking for someone to talk to. My situation is my daughter was 2 weeks late and born by c-section on 15th April. I found it very difficult as the epidural didn't work fully and I was in a lot of pain. Once the doctors got her out, they had to knock me out as I was crying from the pain.

Leading up to her birth, my parents were planning a meal for their 25th wedding anniversary. My husband and I kept pointing out to them that if the baby was late and if I had to have a c-section we would find the 70 mile journey very difficult and may not be able to come. This is exactly what happened and the meal was set for 12 days after she was born.

6 days after I had her my parents came round to see us and as my mum left, she had a go at me about not coming to the meal. They had arranged it at this really posh 5 star hotel on a Friday afternoon so we would have hit rush hour on the m1 on the way back.

At the time being in the car caused me so much pain I would throw up and it was an hour and a half journey to get there. Plus there was the fact my daughter was a newborn and my husband was having to look after us both so was very sleep deprived. So we didn't go.

I put a status up on Facebook yesterday saying that I appreciated the help I was getting from family and friends since I had been diagnosed with postnatal depression. I put that I had found the birth difficult and a family dispute hadn't helped my recovery.

Then my mum put a status up saying that she was fed up of people forgetting that other people have feelings too. After she had a go at me, she said that she had to say something as she needed to express how she was feeling. I've commented saying that I understand everyone needs to express themselves but there is a difference between that and having a go at a hormonal new mum.

I don't really know what I'm looking for from the chat room maybe just to see if anyone else has difficult relationships with their mum and how they handle it? My husband is getting so cross at how selfish she is being. Being a new mum with postnatal depression is hard enough without this on top.

Replies

  • Your mum is out of order!! Tell her to do one, your prioritie is your baby and your health they come first not her bloody posh meal, she should understand that you arnt well and that the trip down there is to much and an hour and a half is to long for a newborn to be in a car seat you would have to stop off and get baby out of the seat, sounds like your mum only cares about her self and what she wants and by you not jumping to her commands and doing what's best for you and your family instead she's seen her a#se about it all, dont worry about any of it, you have your partner who sounds very supportive and your little baby and that's all you need to concentrate on, when the meal was booked they obviously didn't think about you and the baby...my parents are great but my partners parents Are a bloody nightmare! I used to Try with them but honestly I don't care at all now I ignore them, if somebody wants to be in your life they will, and they shouldnt make it difficult ..your mum needs to give her head a wobble and realise she's completely in the wrong here, be the bigger person, the adult in the situation, walk away from the drama let her be mad on her own, you get on with your life and when she's simmered down she might have realised that if she wants a relationship with you then she needs to think about more than just her self! Honestly arguing with a new mum over a meal, what a joke xx

  • Thanks a lot for the reply Rebecca it really made me smile, I'm glad I'm not going mad and you see my point. My husband has been amazing and my in laws are lovely and so supportive they were there at the time and comforted me. I have stopped replying to the comments on Facebook so will just see what happens. Hopefully my mum will snap out of it ;-)

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