Does my son still have to see his dad despite being given the option and court orders?
My ex, as many of us can relate to, has always been a selfish prat. He has always put his wants and needs above all else and if it cant go his way, good luck to anyone who gets in his path because ul most likely be hit by one the toys his thrown out of his pram!
We split when my son was 2. I have always tried to encourage a positive relationship between my son and his dad (despite my son refusing to see his dad throughout the years) but unless its 100% on my exs terms iv been put through hell.
When my son was just 4 my ex was living in and around asia n after a year of no contact from him, took me to court for contact when he was visiting the uk. He also demanded my son travel to asia to see him, which was denied by the court.
Uk visitation was given, with my supervision because of a frightening ordeal my son had been through put thanks to his dads pig headedness. My ex discovered 13 weeks after the court appearence that i was expecting a baby with my partner which didnt sit well with him and all hell broke loose...
i still emailed him updates of our son every week with no reply n photos once a month inc cards on special occasions from our son to his dad. Then i was hit with another court date out of the blue. The date being 5 days after my due date, which i was later informed by my solicitor that my ex had asked for a date close to this time for "personal reasons" and dispite an appeal i was made to uphold that date.
The judge on the day didnt look too kindly on my ex for that and accused him of being malicious and hurting me out of spite and jealousy. I was unable to attend court that day as i was in hospital with a 3 day old baby with suspected meningitis n having pre eclampsia myself, yet i was on the phone all day. The hearing didnt go in my exs favour but new things were agreed by me.
Within 6 months of this new contact order being issued, my ex moved to europe without a word of his whereabouts until he was practically on the plane and i was hit again with another court date for a new contact order and demands inc visits to his new country of residence.
My son still refusing to go with his dad stating he didnt like him, didnt want to leave his new sibling etc. My son eventually went to stay with his dad there, with legal stipulations in place of course and all was going ok well apart from my sons resistance... but then within 14months my ex secretly moved back to the uk and ordered my then 8 year old to not tell me, which of course he did.
I called my ex and he denied the move but within 5 mins admitted he had been back for over a month. I asked if now he was back would be financially support his son (after over 5 years of not paying a penny) He told me he had spoken to csa and was told he had to pay £15 month cash which his mum was to witness. I laughed and phoned csa to be told a totally different outcome. He refused to be amicable and i was left with no option but to have csa deal with it. Within a month of paying csa he declared he was going back abroad but didnt... instead took me to court again asking for a new contact order asking to make clear the number of days a year he has our son in order to pay less child support.
i was gobsmacked. He then walked out of court and if i hadnt of seen it with my own eyes id never of believed it, phoned the csa demanding changes be made immediately... he ended up saving £4.03 a week for his efforts.
My son still refuses to go, has created trouble in order to stay with me, he has phoned n text me while with his dad pleading to come home and has even attacked me physically because when his dad demands something his too scared of him to say something and takes it out on me.
After a particularly nasty fight with my son who had been told by his dad he must do something, came home and went to hit me out of frustration, i called his dad who came to my house and was told by my now 11 year old child that he doesnt want to do these things and gave mature reasons as to why. My ex reacted so cruelly and told my son "if im that bad you say the word and il dissapear ul never have to see me again!" And stormed out.
Since then my sons more adamant on not seeing his dad. My son has recently been told his dad is moving back to india/asia soon and has been ordered he must still do as his dad says by means of contact... ie what my ex wants. My son has now because of this refused to see his dad for good.
Iv tried mediating but been told by my ex im to blame and im a manipulator. My son phoned my ex and told him he doesnt want to see him and my ex again said "if you really dont want to see him or my family again im not going to make you. You dont have to have anything to do with me" and put the phone down. My son is sure he doesnt want to see his dad and states that because his dad said he dont have to see him so his not and i cant make him.
Im just worried that where theres a contact order in place, if his dad changes his mind and causes trouble will it cause legal trouble for me despite him giving my son the option of walking away? Iv tried to get my son to go but at 11 years old does he now have rights? And with my ex moving again with the contact ordeal become void? Can my son say no if his neen told its ok?
