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Husband is indecisive about having children

Hello all, I need opinions on this...if at all possible.

Long story short, my husband has known ever since before we married that I wanted to have children. I agreed to leave the topic alone for 1-2 years as he stated he was not ready for the subject. We have been together for 5 years; 2 of those married.

So 1-2 years pass by and he mentioned the other day that we could discuss it, I was tired and honestly did not believe him for a second, so I went to bed. Periodically he will mention things that he will do with our future child, but at times I wonder if this is to appease me.

The next day (today) he went to see a movie with a friend. While at the theater he texted me that he was glad I didn't go with them to the movie because "There's a bunch of little kids here...you're already baby crazy enough." When he got home I asked him, 'Aren't you, even a little?' and he stated "I'm not ready for a baby." I;m so confused. One day he's ready to discuss it and the next he's 'not ready.'

For background; we both have stable full time jobs and a cute starter house. I'm 30 going on 31 with a history of reproductive issues (reproductive cancer scare etc). He's 28. I'm frightened that I will not able to have a child, and he knows this.

He's playing video games right now while I cry in the bathroom...

Any thoughts? Any ideas?

Replies

  • Hi Hun, 

    I was in a very similar situation to yourself when I first got married husband was adamant he didn’t want children. I was very upfront with him and told him I felt that he had trapped me in to marrying him knowing this was what I wanted it was quite heated and I suggested that we seperate now rather than in five years when I am miserable without a child. The truth is you are never really ready for a baby you can prepare in other ways I.e buying a house having job security etc but you just never know what is around the corner! 

    Fast forward 6 months I now have a very excited dad to be who kisses my belly every night and thanks me for talking sense into him! 

    You have just got to be honest with him and yourself, As if it’s something you are wanting and he is not will you resent him in later life? 

    I hope this this helps xxx

  • My husband never wanted children but new how much I did and after 9 years together we have a little boy who he absolutely adores. He didn’t realise how much he needed him in our lives until he was born and litrally was hit by a bus with feelings when he was born a year ago today. You really  never understand what love is until you have children or for the meaning of life. 

    I now have the predicament that he only wants one child as he wasnt Sure he even wanted one and I don’t like the fact my baby won’t have a sibling 

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